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THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money complexities and general life difficulties, so accordingly he required that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful tie. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t understand myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after anything he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent portion and him knowing i was out with friends i sanctioned a text from him saying basically he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i answered… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, anything he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too. HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he advertises he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it functional unhappily as i cant be seen to be an stirring mess behind the bar in front of the public…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an affecting rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up journal. LOve rp xxange,let the money go – and let him go. HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his patterns remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still foreseen me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the beautiful blinds he established at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very expensive beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00. HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep depression, but better this temporary phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and corporeally, someone who i’m firstly excited to be with, but by power, manipulation, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to.
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YOu don’t need this narcissist to help you as he will just remain to suck you dry. REad some of the commodities mentioned in the annotates above – they will give you asset. LOok after itself. XHoover maneuver just got done reading about it. I feel exculpated because i knew my brother were fake and phony but didn’t have the correct words to explain them. NOw i do. REcently cut ties with brother and i suspect they aren’t going away quietly. I’d like opinions from anyone that wants to give some, because siblings hung around our parents most of their lives up to their deaths, and now they are seeking me out because i’m the only quick family member left and they want 2 hang out. HAven’t seen my sister in 30 years, my brother on and off and i feel it is a little crazy why they can’t just live their lives on their own. I did and i loved not being close 2 them. I had my space. MY own space. LEast i have a backup if they show up at my doorstep unannounced. MY sister expects me not 2 smoke, drink or swear around her wenches and you can bet i will do all three. MAybe even run around my home nude just to embarrass the heck out of her prudish ways. IT is very hard to understand while you are going through the motions with these kinds of people, exceptionally when you know nothing of the quality bedlam. A few things i learned from my endure is…examination, research, inquiry the more you know the better and conscience you get. EVen if it takes a long time keep working at it you will have that aw hah moment when you know without a doubt she/he was a narc… all positions are not 100% alike but still you find a lot of commons to verify what you dealt with and what you will be up for if you return to them. GEt back to being himself. – the whole time i was with my ex narc i was just trying to make him happy and forgot to make myself happy. THey are molding us the whole time you don’t realize it at the time but you are changing. YOu are not the person you once were. YOu most likely will never be that person again but you can get pretty darn close. NEver give up and never give in to these people stick to the no contact. REmember time does heal a lot of things…give it time. IT has been 2 years for me now and just 2 days ago i sanctioned a follow request from him on instagram , he immediately unfollowed me but, he i believe was just letting me know he’s still near and or wanted a reply from me.
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I’ve mature health difficulties, had surgeries, that have prevented me from working and moving back on my own. I will be moving soon working on plan she has bullied me and emotionally abused me and denies it. WE’ve had awful debates. I stand up for myself and tell her how i feel so she doesn’t like that which gets her angry. I’ve been scared. THen there’s this period where we won’t talk and avoid each other. I don’t see her much anyhow. THen she will start being “nice” to me, make small talk, and pretend aught ok. CYcle repeats. NOw i’ve gotten point where i don’t want to talk to her and get “hoovered” in as the that term says. IT’s hard when person is in house. SHe lies, does things intentionally to infuriate me, make me annoyed, even sick i get migraines from smells and smells, etc i am sick, so stressed i get migraines almost daily. SHe’s commanding, cold, has no empathy, self empowered, and lacks remorse. SHe’s very cruel. WHat’s best way to detach when you still have to live with someone?LAst couple days i’ve been trying to not say one word and she keeps trying to talk to me. SHe’s guilty cause she left for a nice fancy recess and left my mom and i here. WE don’t feel well enough to go anyhow, i don’t want go w/her but she goes lots places and does what she pleases. WE are stuck in house, no transition. SHe doesn’t give a crap. IT’s all about her. ANd she complains how hard she has it. MY mom and i are both weakened in lots of pain, can’t work. I’m struggling to just type this on phone. ANyhow. WAnted to share my story cause these leeches can also be family members and not just unrealistic buddies. I finally had enough and kicked out my narcissist with my family’s help.
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THey are hollow. SAve yourselves and leave. HEllo kay, you are right, they are hollow; hollow empty souls. I told my oldest sister one day about 8 months ago that she was a sad empty soul. SHe looked angry and disorganized and slammed door. I believe she has narcissistic personality mess. I unluckily had to move in w/her and my elderly mother for economical reasons. IT’s been almost 6 yrs. I’ve grown health problems, had surgeries, that have prevented me from working and moving back on my own. I will be moving soon working on plan she has bullied me and emotionally abused me and denies it. WE’ve had terrible arguments. I stand up for myself and tell her how i feel so she doesn’t like that which gets her angry. I’ve been scared. THen there’s this period where we won’t talk and avoid each other. I don’t see her much anyhow. THen she will start being “nice” to me, make small talk, and pretend whatever ok. CYcle repeats. NOw i’ve gotten point where i don’t want to talk to her and get “hoovered” in as the that term says. IT’s hard when person is in house. SHe lies, does things intentionally to enrage me, make me annoyed, even sick i get migraines from bouquets and smells, etc i am sick, so stressed i get migraines almost daily. SHe’s dominant, cold, has no empathy, self authorized, and lacks remorse. SHe’s very cruel. WHat’s best way to detach when you still have to live with someone?LAst couple days i’ve been trying to not say one word and she keeps trying to talk to me. SHe’s guilty cause she left for a nice fancy celebration and left my mom and i here. WE don’t feel well enough to go anyhow, i don’t want go w/her but she goes lots places and does what she pleases. WE are stuck in house, no transit.
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BEing conscious of what could happen when i got back to him last time, helped me to not dissolve myself in the process. IT is very vital for all in life that you don’t doubt herself besides healthy self doubt which helps to evolve and always trust your guts. THough people can change, it is imperative to distinguish what needs change and that seems unthinkable to a narcissist. EVen so, i feel sorry for him because i believe he suffers and i see no way for him to conquer delight in life. EVerybody fears him or dislikes him because of his agressive activity which he doesn’t identify and he can’t feel real affiliated, even when he’s loved he acts under his insecurity. IT’s sad. RIght now he is texting me how much he misses me and loves me etcetera. INstinctively i cut his access to me, since the moment i had to call the police once he came drunk to my door and as i didn’t open he started calling me names loudly so all the street could hear. IT was very sad thing to do but binding. ANd though i love him, i will and i won’t ever love anyone above myself. THough i have strong love and undertaking for the people in my life, i allow no one to treat me less than i deserve. I was indecent all my live and felt lonely many times but once i cured my self love i never gave it away. I’m able to offering in the name of love or any other thing i decide worthy but is me who decides, i say how i want to be treated. I told him there ware borders but he didn’t listen and i kept my promise. I lost weigh, money, my job and almost lost my mind but here i am, recovering. BElieving in myself and in my intuition helps a lot. LOving myself is crucial. IN the disputing moments i try to listen to chakra purging sounds or binaural beat waves or some guided thoughts, confiding on the state of mind. THere are lots of options, to every taste and need. I also have been reading about human behavior since i remember so i use the ability do observe myself and anybody else from a neutral point of view, what grants me some clarity. I also have a very supportive family supported since i left the tie and helping me go trough this moment.

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I could write a book and i just might!BEst wishes. REmember no contact is best!ANd also, your friends and even family will not fully value!BUt there is plenty of support here and on line. JUst google how to move on after a breakup. THere is a ton of help out there and certainly there is individual therapy which i used while i was in the connection with him. I know now, the moving on and healing is all up to me. IT’s tough originally, but the more time passes, the easier it gets, until one day, you don’t think of him anymore. I’ve just started this process myself. IT is almost materially debilitating. I want so badly to re connect, because part of our alliance was happy and excited, but mostly it wasn’t happy and it was draining. WE tend to only revoke the good parts. I’ve started writing down all the bad parts and there were many more bad parts. TRust me, i’ going thru the exact same thing you are. BEst wishes,roseit was discard 3 when i finally came upon narcissistic abuse. PRior to that time i was a shell of myself, losin weight from not eating, sobbing on the floor, feeling like a total failure and that no one would ever love me but i didn’t know why. PRior to him i was a pretty positive woman, minus some insecurities due to things that transpired in my youth – that’s the one thing i wish i hadn’t shared with him. NO matter the issue, no matter the requests i had for him to go back to being the man i fell in love with, he would immediately use those insecurities as the sole reason things weren’t working out between us. THe times he would come back, which i now know is hoovering, my certitude would be on 1000% and he would constantly keep bearing up who i used to be until he slowly brought me back into the land of anxiety and doubting myself anywhere again. THis past june i ended the alliance. 4 years of this was enough. I have been no contact ever since 5 months. I have blocked him from my phone, texts, all social media and up until recently all emails go straight to the deleted folder i was told to put them in another folder in case i needed them for legal aims.

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I wish the very best for you!THis delimits my mom to a t. I haven’t been able to enjoy why she treats me this way. IT’s very confusing and hurtful. I’m in no contact with her right now and life is more serene without her. SHe is approaching to hoover again. I am a very deeply caring person and now i know she likes to feed off that. SHe has certified she is unfit of connecting emotionally. WHenever i am around her she is crucial, disrepects me, crosses all of my borders, refuses to concede her aberrations or the past abuse that she gave me. HEr latest tactics are to use her divine views against me sadly. 31 years of her emotionally abuse and conduct has appeared in all of the evidences this article lists. THankfully after years of guidance and group therapy i am on the mend. NOt cured but i am seeing advance!I am supported to realize no contact is the best with the narcissist. I have the same encounter. IT is schoking to see what is really going on, to understand that your mom never loved you. I have a wenches who is now 24 years old and she is sensing, too!ACtually my maids opened my eyes. NOw my parents are hoovering, her, too.
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HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his illustrations remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still expected me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the beautiful blinds he established at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very dear beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00. HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep blues, but better this acting phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and really, someone who i’m at first excited to be with, but by power, handling, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to. I find myself daydreaming of how good it could be if he was more normal,but he’s never going to change. I wen thru this teach where u write down every contrary thing about him and i just kept writing and writing. HE has really done some cruel mean shit to me. WHen i start to miss him, i take out what i wrote, and remember how hurt he made me feel, then i don’t miss him for a while.
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DOes he sound like a narcisit and can he change?WOuld love some advice on this. YEs he is a narcissist and he will never change. IT’s a hard truth to accept,the harsh reality that they will never change. NArcissists are very good actors who trick you into gentile that they can connect with you emotionally. THe truth us that they are ineffective of making an poignant connection with anyone. I am a recovering maids of a narcissistic mother. I was fooled for a long time considering i could change her, and inasmuch as that she indeed cared about me. THe moment you make this recognition, you will feel like a fool initially because it took so long to figure it out, but it is easy to fall into the narcissistic trap and no one should feel foolish for falling for it. THe best thing you can do for himself is to cut it off. I wish the very best for you!THis clarifies my mom to a t. I haven’t been able to like why she treats me this way. IT’s very confusing and hurtful. I’m in no contact with her right now and life is more peaceful without her. SHe is assaying to hoover again. I am a very deeply caring person and now i know she likes to feed off that. SHe has certified she is ineffective of coupling emotionally. WHenever i am around her she is serious, disrepects me, crosses all of my rims, refuses to concede her fallacies or the past abuse that she gave me. HEr latest tactics are to use her religious views against me sadly. 31 years of her emotionally abuse and treatment has manifested in all of the omens this article lists. THankfully after years of admonishing and group therapy i am on the mend. NOt cured but i am seeing progress!I am abetted to realize no contact is the best with the narcissist. I have the same encounter. IT is schoking to see what is really going on, to enjoy that your mom never loved you. I have a girls who is now 24 years old and she is suffering, too!ACtually my daughter opened my eyes. NOw my parents are hoovering, her, too. ANd it happens always exactly in the moment when i or my childs are working for our lives to go on, maybe having some obstacles on the way: then my parents decide to put their fingers on our lives and decide to “help”.
THey don’t even love yourself, how could they ever love us like christ loved the church?THey can’t. ANd won’t. EVer. I swear my husband is owned by demons, with all the evil he has done and extends to do. HOld your head high, you aren’t in control of his behavior. YOu are allowed to leave and be happier. HE is taking you farther away from god, and jesus knows that and forgives us for divorcing these animals!PErsonally, i would rather be forgiven for a divorce, where in my singledom i can get back to god, than trapped with someone who will make sure i never grow spiritually. GOod luck hun and god bless. HE sees you and knows your agony. COgnitive action therapy cbt or rational emotive therapy self help books availablewill assist you to verbalise your dilemas and grief over the inability to be part of your grandchildren’s lives without the stirring abuse from narc. YOu can change your whereas and passions aroound this, make your own determinations based on what skills you can develope to deflect hurtful projections and manage to have some association with your grandies…. ALl power to you. REmember what they say and do duplicates what is about them and not you. YOu might like to imagine a mirror between her and you so whatever hurtful manipulation etc is given out bounces back at the narc, and is not integrated into your loving self. YOga can also help that self bracing, focus on the inner nurturer, only liable for one self and accepting that change comes from within and what is around us just is and not our responsibility. HOpe this helps. FRom reading this n what any is saying im guessing my ex/boyfriend something he is in my life is at narcissist. HE has been in my life for 3yrs kno. ANd for the 1st yr all was ok we had our ups n downs but we worked them thru. HE lost his father n then his friend n then things changed. CHeating, lien, i feel used. I try to leave n get out but i feel lost with out him i don’t kno what to do. I have changed my number 2 times n he txt or calls or email n i fall into it. I changed my n its like a drug to have to talk to him. I dont kno why i even think he can change, it kills me inside. HE don’t see the pain he is causing me.

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