I don’t know how i could be so stupid, but now he indeed has decayed me, because i wouldn’t give him another money, so, it’s hurting, but i know i will heal in time. HE is a classic narcissist. THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money distress and general life problems, so ergo he compulsory that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful affiliation. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t comprehend myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after all he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent portion and him knowing i was out with friends i accepted a text from him saying at bottom he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i answered… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, whatever he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too. HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he discloses he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it work regrettably as i cant be seen to be an emotional mess behind the bar in front of the customers…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an moving rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up everyday. LOve rp xxange,let the money go – and let him go. HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his models remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still foreseen me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the attractive blinds he planted at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very darling beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00.
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