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514. IF you analyse the initial reciprocities with your ex, you will understand your guts telling you no!; learn from that. OBserve yourself and what you feel and you will learn how to make healthier verdicts in attachments and anything else. I’m education too and even after this, i’m evolving. I believe that we need to learn exposure and that does not mean to be a prey. I’m wishing you the best. STay strong. @Alicebravo!I’m getting out of 24 years to a covert narc. THe discovery in this divorce is paralyzing at best. I just woke up from a 10 year fog, each time i rose above the fog, i battled oppression that was so thick, it smothered me. I have 4 kids, i did the sacrifice of staying to give them persistence, i was so wrong, because they all got screwed into his operation. THus, them blame me and its severed some bridges. IVe been seeking out books, and therapy, alt med behaviors, etc. I found emdr therapy to be greatest at finding triggers in one session!IT is truly amazing how fast you come to where it all started. MY first one took me back to the age of 5 in 10 mins!IVe been through acupuncture, chiropractors, hypnosis, and biofeedback…. IVe been 9 months without a sleep cycle 3hours in 2011, but this time around i accumulated cptsd with fibromyalgia – oh so painful, everyday now for 16 months : no good days without pain, because usual a piece to the puzzle being his supply pops into view. 24 years to put at once…. I cant see my mom after heart surgery, because i feel so wrong to moanin pain and all i want to do is take her pain from her and bare it with my daily agony. I just look forward to moving away up to my family, far away from him. TO sweetnlucky: this is a very hard situation for a teen to control emotionally. I feel for her!AS a child, you can’t even imagine the thought that a parent can in fact behave so selfishly.

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I was spent, disordered, sad, lonely, solo, and ignored. BRoke up mother’s day. MOved back to the house i still owned that my wenches was living in. NO contact. I am going to be 66 yrs old. I don’t know why i could ever believe that someone else’s rapture/welfare was more vital than my own. I apologize to me for abusing me. I am payable. I am lovable. I am a human being. THey are hollow. SAve yourselves and leave. HEllo kay, you are right, they are hollow; hollow empty souls. I told my oldest sister one day about 8 months ago that she was a sad empty soul. SHe looked angry and muddled and slammed door. I believe she has narcissistic quality disorder. I unhappily had to move in w/her and my elderly mother for fiscal reasons. IT’s been almost 6 yrs. I’ve mature health difficulty, had surgeries, that have prevented me from working and moving back on my own. I will be moving soon working on plan she has bullied me and emotionally abused me and denies it. WE’ve had awful debates. I stand up for myself and tell her how i feel so she doesn’t like that which gets her angry. I’ve been scared. THen there’s this period where we won’t talk and avoid each other. I don’t see her much anyhow. THen she will start being “nice” to me, make small talk, and pretend everything ok.

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TRust me, i’ going thru the exact same thing you are. BEst wishes,roseit was discard 3 when i finally came upon narcissistic abuse. PRior to that time i was a shell of myself, losin weight from not eating, sobbing on the floor, feeling like a total failure and that no one would ever love me but i didn’t know why. PRior to him i was a pretty confident woman, minus some insecurities due to things that occurred in my youth – that’s the one thing i wish i hadn’t shared with him. NO matter the issue, no matter the approaches i had for him to go back to being the man i fell in love with, he would immediately use those insecurities as the sole reason things weren’t working out between us. THe times he would come back, which i now know is hoovering, my faith would be on 1000% and he would systematically keep delivery up who i used to be until he slowly brought me back into the land of anxiety and doubting myself everywhere again. THis past june i ended the relationship. 4 years of this was enough. I have been no contact ever since 5 months. I have blocked him from my phone, texts, all social media and up until afresh all emails go at once to the deleted folder i was told to put them in another folder in case i needed them for legal meanings. LAst week i saw that he has sent me 6 letters in 12 days…one email was blaming my “insecurities” on why things didn’t work out again, telling me i was crazy for not seeing how much he “loves” me and piling on more of the spiritual abuse he did throughout our connection, pursued by a link to what men wish women knew about them, 3 sermons on insecurity and then one telling me about a new highway opening up. I have still lingered silent. I have been no contact for 7 weeks. I had a few encounters with him showing up at my door telling me he missed me and how much he loved me but them close went to if i didn’t act the way i did, he wouldn’t say the things he says. YEs always my fault. I told him to leave which was a fight for me. THen came by my house again a few weeks later to flaunt two very young girls in the car with him. EVery day is a conflict for me. I know he won’t change , it’s been over 3 years , but every day is a combat. EFfects my entire life. DOn’t know how to move past this. I just want to forget it ever passed. I’ve been married to a narcissist sociopath for 13 yrs. SO much damage has been done but i’m rebuilding. I started the no contact but we have a child coincidentally and are not divorced or legally segregated yet. THe threats of taking my son and the very few things i have left have me living in fear.
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