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IT was a total con game for him. I don’t know how i could be so stupid, but now he truly has disavowed me, because i wouldn’t give him another money, so, it’s hurting, but i know i will heal in time. HE is a classic narcissist. THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money difficulty and general life trouble, so therefore he mandatory that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful relationship. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t comprehend myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after everybody he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent measure and him knowing i was out with friends i approved a text from him saying fundamentally he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i answered… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, whole he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too. HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he drawers he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it occupational unluckily as i cant be seen to be an affecting mess behind the bar in front of the buyer…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an poignant rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up commonplace. LOve rp xxange,let the money go – and let him go. HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his illustrations remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still expected me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the attractive blinds he established at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very precious beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00. HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep melancholy, but better this interim phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and materially, someone who i’m firstly excited to be with, but by power, handling, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to. I find myself daydreaming of how good it could be if he was more normal,but he’s never going to change. I wen thru this use where u write down every adverse thing about him and i just kept writing and writing. HE has really done some cruel mean shit to me. WHen i start to miss him, i take out what i wrote, and remember how hurt he made me feel, then i don’t miss him for a while. HE once broke a wine bottle and 2 glasses on the street, drove my car 90 mph and risked to wrap the car around a pole, unless i gave him all the money in my wallet all bc i joked about how he never keeps a job in front of one of his friends. HE did this after i had paid for appetizers and drinks for all of us 54. 00 and i’m utterly certain he had whatever going on with the diner hostess.

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HE started delivery his exes into the picture, locked his phone regularly, and would even take it to the lavatories with him. IN the middle of the nights, his phone would light up often. HE told me it’s modernizing more than usual. I trusted all this, to a point. AFter work one day, he told me about a lovely home he found in another town. I wasn’t too happy about it at first bc i have 2 wenches’s in high school and didn’t want them leaving all their friends they grew up with. WEll. WE decided to get it. SIgned paperwork for a 30 year contract… 5 days later he went to work and never acknowledged. HE did contact me and asked if i could bring him his clothes. I did and he looked at me with venomous eyes and said. ” i hate you. I don’t want you and you are nothing but scum. ” we didn’t even have an quarrel the night before all this before he left. WE are now 6 months out, he has moved to an unknown place, won’t give me a divorce. I have to get an counsel which i can’t afford right now. 2 days after he left me, he was walking the fair with his high school lover who is also married, he paid for dating sites during our affiliation, had many women’s numbers in an old phone that he left behind,got cash approaches that i knew nothing about, always told my childs’s that i was crazy and needed meds. THere is so much more pain i endured, but this is a few. I will never value how someone could hurt another human being in this matter. THe past 6 years i have been living a lie. MY one and only bridal i ever wanted in my life is now a fantasy. I will carry on to pray for healing for all that comes in contact with these types. IT’s not fair and we did not deserve this pain. INteresting… i got the same message from his first ex wife. SHe also told me that the only reason he married me is bc of the compound sclerosis that i fight every day , he was waiting for me to die, and so he could draw social shield off my daughter’s. I can’t believe all this has happened.
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I fell for the hovering. OIve letters love songs words of sorry and more god and prayer. ONly to see again that he walks the path of attention seeking. HE took a job in another state and it all eventuated again. I’m so tired. I have now taken the no contact entry. IT is very disputing. I miss the good times. THen i rescind the bad. IT’s a terrible moment of turmoil mentally. HOw does all cope?AT a loss and so sad. I’ve been amazed by the hoovering, it is exactly as the articles anticipated. I miss youi’ve changedi’ve valuated my lifethinking about youhave a drink for me birthdayphotographs of ‘us’ in mailmy goods box of tampons on my door stepaccusations “you used to have a sense of humour”“you’re playing a game”you might bump into me at just giving you a heads upare you going to just wonderedit’s been two years and despite me insisting he stop because he is compromising his current affiliation it lasts after brief sulksi’m skilled at not corresponding his queries, being induced or reacting now i know about the disorder. I never respond immediately. NO amount of common sense is appreciated so i answer with unqualified rubbish. I’ve politely thrown out clues about his fake persona, said we are opposites, i’m not submissive enough for him, i’m no longer trying, i like being single and that he invested nothing in me. I was discarded three months ago by someone who emerged almost all of the flavors of a narcissist after he acknowledged to being in a connection with someone while in a affiliation with me. I newly heard they were no longer cool. TWo days ago i sanctioned an email from him apologising for the corrupt way he treated me, that i was a wonderful loving confiding who deserved to be happy. HE said he has had to take a hard look at himself and how he has treated women. HE said he had now taken duty for the pain and upset he has caused. HE wished me a happy life and said he hopes i will find a wonderful man who will attend me and treat me me with the love and respect i deserve. CAn this be premeditated a hoover if he did not want all from me nor seem to want to get back into my life?COuld he at 65 had an epiphany and grown a describes?I went through it all with him, the silent treatments, lying, cheating, anger if i dared say anything, been discarded quickly without a word, ignored, blocked and unblocked on fb etc etc. SO how is it liable that he wrote these amazing sounding words. CAn anyone tell me what it means?I think this all part of his game. HE has to have narcissistic supply, whether that it certain or opposed – he just needs to know that he is having an effect on you of some sort and he will only get that if you give a response. AT the moment he is testing the waters to see if he can worm his way back into your life. OF course, he doesn’t know that he is in your head night and day and that his message has caused execute mess for you – if he gets any idea that has happened, he will get his narcissistic supply from that. IF you reply with matter encouraging, he may well attempt to get back into your life physically as well as mentally. YOu may have seen this article but it delimits quite well the cycle. THenarcissisticpersonality. COm/hoover manuver/ the only thing you can do is to absolutely ignore this man’s accosts and try to move your life in a supervision where you can just forget him, very hard, i know. PErhaps there is someone else on this forum with similar life to mira who can advise her that this will work?HI milly,there’s no dispute that no contact is the answer to abstaining any kind of turmoil they love to provide. ZAri ballard who has written the most amazing commodities on narcissists comment that the reasons they hoover is to fodder supply in case of need and also to ensure the victim never moves on from the pain they caused. THis could well be the answer to my describe case. I’m so sad for all the pain and essaying good virtuous people are being caused.
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