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I want so badly to re connect, because part of our tie was happy and excited, but mostly it wasn’t happy and it was draining. WE tend to only remember the good parts. I’ve started writing down all the bad parts and there were many more bad parts. TRust me, i’ going thru the exact same thing you are. BEst wishes,roseit was discard 3 when i finally came upon narcissistic abuse. PRior to that time i was a shell of myself, losin weight from not eating, sobbing on the floor, feeling like a total failure and that no one would ever love me but i didn’t know why. PRior to him i was a pretty assured woman, minus some insecurities due to things that occurred in my babyhood – that’s the one thing i wish i hadn’t shared with him. NO matter the issue, no matter the petitions i had for him to go back to being the man i fell in love with, he would immediately use those insecurities as the sole reason things weren’t working out between us. THe times he would come back, which i now know is hoovering, my assurance would be on 1000% and he would regularly keep fetch up who i used to be until he slowly brought me back into the land of anxiety and doubting myself anywhere again. THis past june i ended the relationship. 4 years of this was enough. I have been no contact ever since 5 months. I have blocked him from my phone, texts, all social media and up until anew all emails go at once to the deleted folder i was told to put them in another folder in case i needed them for legal intents. LAst week i saw that he has sent me 6 errands in 12 days…one email was blaming my “insecurities” on why things didn’t work out again, telling me i was crazy for not seeing how much he “loves” me and piling on more of the spiritual abuse he did throughout our relationship, chased by a link to what men wish women knew about them, 3 sermons on insecurity and then one telling me about a new highway opening up. I have still lasted silent. I have been no contact for 7 weeks. I had a few affronts with him showing up at my door telling me he missed me and how much he loved me but them closely went to if i didn’t act the way i did, he wouldn’t say the things he says. YEs always my fault. I told him to leave which was a conflict for me. THen came by my house again a few weeks later to flaunt two very young girls in the car with him. EVery day is a fight for me. I know he won’t change , it’s been over 3 years , but every day is a struggle. EFfects my entire life. DOn’t know how to move past this. I just want to forget it ever ensued. I’ve been married to a narcissist sociopath for 13 yrs.

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I wasn’t too happy about it initially bc i have 2 childs’s in high school and didn’t want them leaving all their friends they grew up with. WEll. WE decided to get it. SIgned paperwork for a 30 year compact… 5 days later he went to work and never acknowledged. HE did contact me and asked if i could bring him his clothes. I did and he eyed me with venomous eyes and said. ” i hate you. I don’t want you and you are nothing but scum. ” we didn’t even have an contention the night before all this before he left. WE are now 6 months out, he has moved to an unknown locale, won’t give me a divorce. I have to get an counsel which i can’t afford right now. 2 days after he left me, he was walking the fair with his high school lover who is also married, he paid for dating sites during our tie, had varied women’s numbers in an old phone that he left behind,got cash approaches that i knew nothing about, always told my daughters’s that i was crazy and needed meds. THere is so much more pain i endured, but this is a few. I will never appreciate how someone could hurt another human being in this matter. THe past 6 years i have been living a lie. MY one and only wedding i ever wanted in my life is now a incubus. I will carry on to pray for healing for anyone that comes in contact with these types. IT’s not fair and we did not deserve this pain. INteresting… i got the same message from his first ex wife. SHe also told me that the only reason he married me is bc of the multiple sclerosis that i fight every day , he was waiting for me to die, and so he could draw social security off my girls’s. I can’t believe all this has occurred. I was so blind. I’m still married to the pos. HE put a stoppage order on me for texting and calling. I guess i was interrupting his affairs. I was trying to interpret what went wrong. LIke i said in my post before,we just signed a brand new home, all the bills in his name,and i was lost. HE never talked to me about any of it. THe judge granted him the jamming order for a year. THe judge had the nerve to say to me… ” the minute he walked out, i had nothing else more to say to him!’ i was like. REally?YOu have got to be kidding me!GUess i was chopped liver. I was going through so much depression and the judge made it worse. HE is now living at an unknown location so i have no clue how to get divorced from him without a lawyer. DOnt give up!SHow him your not weak. MAybe play him at his own game like, try be nice to get what you want a divorce then when it’s over and done you can start to heal. IT hurts like hell and hard for many to truly enjoy it.

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SHe lies, does things intentionally to exasperate me, make me annoyed, even sick i get migraines from fragrances and smells, etc i am sick, so stressed i get migraines almost daily. SHe’s ruling, cold, has no empathy, self authorized, and lacks remorse. SHe’s very cruel. WHat’s best way to detach when you still have to live with someone?LAst couple days i’ve been trying to not say one word and she keeps trying to talk to me. SHe’s guilty cause she left for a nice fancy rest and left my mom and i here. WE don’t feel well enough to go anyhow, i don’t want go w/her but she goes lots places and does what she pleases. WE are stuck in house, no motion. SHe doesn’t give a crap. IT’s all about her. ANd she complains how hard she has it. MY mom and i are both crippled in lots of pain, can’t work. I’m struggling to just type this on phone. ANyhow. WAnted to share my story cause these leeches can also be family members and not just unrealistic comrades. I finally had enough and kicked out my narcissist with my family’s help. I was doing great, then felt so lonely last weekend. MY tire blew out on the highway, and i called him – big mistake. HE wanted money for helping me, even though i had already given him $15,000 in a 2 year period, plus always paid his way for eating out, movies, gas. IT was a total con game for him. I don’t know how i could be so stupid, but now he in reality has refused me, because i wouldn’t give him another money, so, it’s hurting, but i know i will heal in time. HE is a classic narcissist. THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money difficulties and general life trouble, so consequently he mandatory that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful affiliation. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t value myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after aught he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent shot and him knowing i was out with friends i sanctioned a text from him saying basically he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i acknowledged… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, aught he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too.
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