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I try to leave n get out but i feel lost with out him i don’t kno what to do. I have changed my number 2 times n he txt or calls or email n i fall into it. I changed my n its like a drug to have to talk to him. I dont kno why i even think he can change, it kills me inside. HE don’t see the pain he is causing me. I need help to get out of it n not fall back but i dont know how :im wondering if i had the hoover manuover done on me!I’m sure my ex is a narcissist!I dumped him after another tantrum in which involved me called be police and after him blaming me!FOr months he sent love songs, texts even flowers, never had flowers even after our kids were born, no note though with them!OFfered me coffee, takeaways etc etc, then unexpectedly he’s got a girl friend and she’s moved in with him!WOw not even inducted her to the kids!THen the random stuff begins, once maybe twice a month a email of nothing but a jar of sweets or anything else!THen social media, the endless pics of them posing looking so happy!THen the texts telling me he met a famous guy at the weekend!?YEs and ?YOu’ve got a girl friend so why text me?IT’s been 5 mths since then as i ignored anybody he sent me and he’s gone completely silent!I was questioning if he was trying to falsify me or perchance triangulate?I married him. WAs tired of the roller coaster and wanted it to stop. I thought if i brought trustworthiness to his life – system, etc. HE’d thrive. 3 l/2 yrs ago. THen the real abuse started. RAther than comprehend my endowments – he took profits of me and escalated his demands. HE jeopardized to smash in my face, took up with another woman when out of town and i was having surgery, was neglectful, never gave me a dime – had to beg for grocery money – and the kicker. THe last straw… mother’s day and he deliberately refused to accept me. I told him if he disrespected me one more time – i was out the door. I left. FOr good. HE was sucking the life out of me. HE’d taken whole from me. EVerything. BUt the one thing he will never take is my soul.
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THis helps me comprehend how i regularly allowed myself to take accountability for their irresponsible action. THe missing parts in my infancy due to narc and alcohol behavioural kept me looking for someone else to rescue who can’t be rescued. BEing manipulated and managed was ever present. MOst of the other symptoms i am finally aware of thanks to a lot of enquiry. MY nuns are unfortunately beyond talking on the subject. I don’t want to do them any harm rethinking our lives of qualified love that probably was the best we could expect. WE were trained not to work as a team due to suspicion from parents that we might find out that we had an deviant home life. SAd but true. I fell for that 13 year old sob story several times which adds up to about 20 years of affected affecting involvements with women. I just needed to quit confiding my own choices for relations for several years now. SOmetimes, when you are by herself you are finally in good company. THanks to all of you fellow itinerants. BEst of luck. RIchard’s comment jump started back to everything my distinct analyst said long time ago, these abusive dysfunctional people don’t mature emotionally so i wonder if this is the reason why i feel when i’ve talked 2 my sister that i feel as if i’m talking to a child?I cut off phone talks with her because she failed 2 respect my margin even after she said she would. UNderstand i am an guru and spend most or all of my days repeating myself to babies infants thru pre k age because they lack brain increasing to recall, however my sister just turned 50 and there’s no way i’m gonna spend more than twice repeating the same request 2 a person of this age. DOn’t have any other issues with anyone else just her. WEll, i chose no contact with her so she’s history before i’m troubled. THankful for seeking out a psychiatrist to help instead of choice the alcohol/drugs avenue. SAdly there are more dysfunctional folks out in life than there are operative, alas. I am in the same engagement you are in. MY husband is an abuser, definitely hoovered everyone from me in the 2 years of wedding we had. I filed for divorce. NO contact is the only way to be free of these people. I am a gentile too, and had been praying about leaving for months. THen his web of lies started coming unraveled, and found he never even meant his vows, they were all a lie from the initial. AS soon as i told him to get out of my house, he ran instantly home to his mommy to suck her dry even more than he already has. HE quit his job the 8th one he’s had in 12 months, and wanton our wenches, who is 13 months old. IT is a challenging settlement to leave, specially being a faithful who doesn’t believe that divorce is right. I offered him a healing separation, like dobson talks about in his book on tough love. MY spouse didn’t want that. HE wanted me all or nothing.

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NOw i do. REcently cut ties with siblings and i suspect they aren’t going away quietly. I’d like faiths from anyone that wants to give some, because relatives hung around our parents most of their lives up to their deaths, and now they are seeking me out because i’m the only quick family member left and they want 2 hang out. HAven’t seen my sister in 30 years, my brother on and off and i feel it is a little crazy why they can’t just live their lives on their own. I did and i loved not being close 2 them. I had my space. MY own space. LEast i have a backup if they show up at my doorstep unannounced. MY sister expects me not 2 smoke, drink or swear around her maids and you can bet i will do all three. MAybe even run around my home nude just to embarrass the heck out of her prudish ways. IT is very hard to enjoy while you are going through the motions with these kinds of people, especially when you know nothing of the quality chaos. A few things i learned from my experience is…inquiry, query, inquiry the more you know the better and better you get. EVen if it takes a long time keep working at it you will have that aw hah moment when you know without a doubt she/he was a narc… all places are not 100% alike but still you find a lot of commons to verify what you dealt with and what you will be up for if you return to them. GEt back to being itself. – the whole time i was with my ex narc i was just trying to make him happy and forgot to make myself happy. THey are molding us the whole time you don’t realize it at the time but you are changeable. YOu are not the person you once were. YOu most likely will never be that person again but you can get pretty darn close. NEver give up and never give in to these people stick to the no contact. REmember time does heal a lot of things…give it time. IT has been 2 years for me now and just 2 days ago i sanctioned a follow request from him on instagram , he directly unfollowed me but, he i believe was just letting me know he’s still near and or wanted a reply from me.
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