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HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep dejection, but better this performing phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and substantially, someone who i’m firstly excited to be with, but by power, treatment, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to. I find myself daydreaming of how good it could be if he was more normal,but he’s never going to change. I wen thru this drill where u write down every negative thing about him and i just kept writing and writing. HE has really done some cruel mean shit to me. WHen i start to miss him, i take out what i wrote, and rescind how hurt he made me feel, then i don’t miss him for a while. HE once broke a wine bottle and 2 glasses on the street, drove my car 90 mph and threatened to wrap the car around a pole, unless i gave him all the money in my wallet all bc i joked about how he never keeps a job in front of one of his friends. HE did this after i had paid for appetizers and drinks for all of us 54. 00 and i’m definitely certain he had all going on with the diner hostess. IT was so blatantly obvious!I’m sure he either knew her, had sex with her, or got her number. I think of this and wonder how could i want to see him after this, but i did. SO, my advice is it will be hard, but try to do the no contact thing. YOu’re only extending the healing process. I feel better every day and so relaxed. WHat i just explicated was only one episode of many. I could write a book and i just might!BEst wishes. REmember no contact is best!ANd also, your friends and even family will not fully jab!BUt there is plenty of support here and on line. JUst google how to move on after a breakup. THere is a ton of help out there and course there is distinct therapy which i used while i was in the connection with him. I know now, the moving on and healing is all up to me. IT’s tough first, but the more time passes, the easier it gets, until one day, you don’t think of him anymore.
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AT the age of 31, i am still feeling like a scolded child just for having stood up for myself, not consenting them to cross my borders and undermine my parenting. THese are just a small scale model of an example. TO go in detail, i feel wpuld be a trigger for some. I finally said no more on friday, and my weekend consisted of my mother and my father telling me i am a bully, that i am combative, abusive and have anger problems or that i am having mood swings as they always do when i stand my ground, try to set ends or even just have my own point of view. WHen i did not accept that they started charge my husband of being abusive, and making me move interstate just to keep me solo amongst other horrid ailments, when i was the one that made the call to move away!I had enough, either i am a horrible evil daughters for rank up for myself or i am under the control of an abusive husband who simply cannot be strong enough to be saying ‘enough’ without it directed by my husband. THen i implemented, they are projecting. THey were the ones who made move away from anybody i knew, the town i grew up in to a place where i was solitary. I had noone. ANd when i did they accused them of the same. WHile they were basically saying “this is all in your head” was a trigger for another trauma in my life was caused by them i learned whatever. IT’s not me and never has been. I also realize why they have gotten under my skin for this long. I’d finally enforced how wrong their behavior is. I recollected all the distress they had with my siblings, that they poisoned me to think was not my parents fault. THey did the same to my brethren in further levels, and they no longer have any contact with them yet they still refuse to claim duty for. THey will never change and my life will never improve while they have their claws in. IN short, this article has been a helpful tool and my feels have encouraged me to want to study mentality so i can help others as well as myself. WE had alluring times all together but bad too. HE was diagnosed with bipolar mess and pharma medicated embodying self medicated with ganja. I lost myself in his ways. I am now seeing the truth.
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ONe such concept is “hoovering” by the emotionally abusive person. WHen the cycle of “idealize, devalue, discard” is unqualified, a person with narcissistic characteristic will often return to prior sources of narcissistic supply to see if he or she can tap such humans for more ego fueling notice, moving feedback, sex, money, business profits, a place to live, or other affirmations of his or her life. “Hoover maneuver” was coined after the name of a popular vacuum cleaner, attributing to the fact abusers often attempt to suction up narcissistic supply from prior sources people. SUrvivors of narcissistic abuse should not be fooled by the hoover maneuver. SUch an action is not a sign that the abusive person loves the outliver or that he/she can change and instantaneously develop reciprocity, authentically own responsibility for blunders, and coherently show affecting maturity. THe analogy of a vampire sinking fangs into the jugular vein works here. THe abusive person may home in on the target’s vulnerabilities wanting to be traditional, loved, lovely, etc. ANd try to hook that person back into another abuse cycle, solely for the benefit of soothing the abusive person’s ego—no more, no less. THey never go, it seems absurd to believe when they have quickly moved into a fresh association and raged at you. IT is sadly a fact that they keep coming back to the ex’s with all sorts of strange creepy methods to disclose. THe favoured hoover of mine is “i miss you” by text, once blocked he moved to fb once blocked it was post, email and then visits to my home. I created an email just for him to stop the visits and post. ONe day he will give up i keep my replies minimal and my answers are brief and delayed to contain the conditions. I’m awaiting a ramped up dispatch when he ruins his current link. IM unsure as to whether my sweetheart is a narcisist…. THere is always drama in his life and he takes no personal liability for his poor choices. AT the genesis of our rship he pursued me mostly and showered me with gifts and compliments, almost putting me on a pedestal. HOwever as time went on, he has exposed quite ascendant and. NEgative comportment, such as putting me down, shouting and making fun out of me. HE has a temper but has said he would never hit me!BUt stirring blackmail is used and i can see through his lies and conduct. WE have broken up several times, mostly from me putting my foot down and exacting he treats me better but he always manages to win me back with sob stories and pledges of changeable. IM just so disorganized as hes so sweet and loving in some ways but very hurtful and selfish in others. IM no angel either but i try to manage things maturely. DOes he sound like a narcisit and can he change?WOuld love some advice on this. YEs he is a narcissist and he will never change. IT’s a hard truth to accept,the harsh reality that they will never change. NArcissists are very good actors who trick you into catholic that they can connect with you emotionally. THe truth us that they are ineffective of making an touching alliance with anyone. I am a recovering wenches of a narcissistic mother. I was fooled for a long time thinking i could change her, and since that she actually cared about me. THe moment you make this acknowledgment, you will feel like a fool firstly because it took so long to figure it out, but it is easy to fall into the narcissistic trap and no one should feel foolish for falling for it. THe best thing you can do for herself is to cut it off. I wish the very best for you!THis delimits my mom to a t. I haven’t been able to comprehend why she treats me this way. IT’s very confusing and hurtful. I’m in no contact with her right now and life is more peaceful without her.

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I was to blame for all his money difficulty and general life problems, so hence he obligatory that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful relationship. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t appreciate myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after something he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent measure and him knowing i was out with friends i conventional a text from him saying primarily he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i replied… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, everything he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too. HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he broadcasts he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it adept sadly as i cant be seen to be an poignant mess behind the bar in front of the buyer…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an stirring rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up journal. LOve rp xxange,let the money go – and let him go. HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his patterns remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still due me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the good-looking blinds he planted at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very darling beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00. HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep blues, but better this playing phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and materially, someone who i’m at first excited to be with, but by power, conduct, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to. I find myself daydreaming of how good it could be if he was more normal,but he’s never going to change. I wen thru this drill where u write down every adverse thing about him and i just kept writing and writing. HE has really done some cruel mean shit to me. WHen i start to miss him, i take out what i wrote, and revoke how hurt he made me feel, then i don’t miss him for a while. HE once broke a wine bottle and 2 glasses on the street, drove my car 90 mph and imperiled to wrap the car around a pole, unless i gave him all the money in my wallet all bc i joked about how he never keeps a job in front of one of his friends. HE did this after i had paid for appetizers and drinks for all of us 54.

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