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ANd when i did they accused them of the same. WHile they were in essence saying “this is all in your head” was a trigger for another trauma in my life was caused by them i learned everything. IT’s not me and never has been. I also realize why they have gotten under my skin for this long. I’d finally executed how wrong their action is. I reminisced all the trouble they had with my brethren, that they poisoned me to think was not my parents fault. THey did the same to my brother in different levels, and they no longer have any contact with them yet they still refuse to claim answerability for. THey will never change and my life will never improve while they have their claws in. IN short, this article has been a helpful tool and my story have inspired me to want to study psyche so i can help others containing myself. WE had beautiful times at once but bad too. HE was diagnosed with bipolar bedlam and pharma medicated including self medicated with cannabis. I lost myself in his ways. I am now seeing the truth. HE is narcissistic and i didn’t realize it. I’m now in my third time leaving him and before i accepted his wanting to be a better person. I fell for the hovering. OIve letters love songs words of sorry and more god and prayer. ONly to see again that he walks the path of attention seeking. HE took a job in another state and it all ensued again. I’m so tired. I have now taken the no contact admittance. IT is very daring. I miss the good times. THen i remember the bad. IT’s a terrible moment of jumble mentally. HOw does everybody cope?AT a loss and so sad.
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WHat’s best way to detach when you still have to live with someone?LAst couple days i’ve been trying to not say one word and she keeps trying to talk to me. SHe’s guilty cause she left for a nice fancy recess and left my mom and i here. WE don’t feel well enough to go anyhow, i don’t want go w/her but she goes lots places and does what she pleases. WE are stuck in house, no transport. SHe doesn’t give a crap. IT’s all about her. ANd she complains how hard she has it. MY mom and i are both weakened in lots of pain, can’t work. I’m struggling to just type this on phone. ANyhow. WAnted to share my story cause these leeches can also be family members and not just romantic partners. I finally had enough and kicked out my narcissist with my family’s help. I was doing great, then felt so lonely last weekend. MY tire blew out on the highway, and i called him – big mistake. HE wanted money for helping me, even though i had already given him $15,000 in a 2 year period, plus always paid his way for eating out, movies, gas. IT was a total con game for him. I don’t know how i could be so stupid, but now he in reality has decayed me, because i wouldn’t give him any longer money, so, it’s hurting, but i know i will heal in time. HE is a classic narcissist. THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money trouble and general life problems, so therefore he required that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful tie. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t appreciate myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after everything he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent portion and him knowing i was out with friends i traditional a text from him saying at bottom he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i replied… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, aught he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too. HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he declares he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it career unluckily as i cant be seen to be an emotional mess behind the bar in front of the patrons…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an emotional rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up usual. LOve rp xxange,let the money go – and let him go. HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his patterns remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still awaited me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the attractive blinds he positioned at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very beloved beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40.

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CAn this be deliberate a hoover if he did not want whatever from me nor seem to want to get back into my life?COuld he at 65 had an epiphany and expanded a acquisition?I went through it all with him, the silent treatments, lying, cheating, anger if i dared say everything, been discarded unexpectedly without a word, ignored, blocked and unblocked on fb etc etc. SO how is it probable that he wrote these wonderful sounding words. CAn anyone tell me what it means?I think this all part of his game. HE has to have narcissistic supply, whether that it assured or opposite – he just needs to know that he is having an effect on you of some sort and he will only get that if you give a respond. AT the moment he is testing the waters to see if he can worm his way back into your life. OF course, he doesn’t know that he is in your head night and day and that his message has caused utter chaos for you – if he gets any idea that has happened, he will get his narcissistic supply from that. IF you reply with thing encouraging, he may well attempt to get back into your life corporeally as well as mentally. YOu may have seen this article but it characterizes quite well the cycle. THenarcissisticpersonality. COm/hoover manuver/ the only thing you can do is to definitely ignore this man’s appeals and try to move your life in a control where you can just forget him, very hard, i know. PErhaps there is someone else on this forum with similar biography to mira who can advise her that this will work?HI milly,there’s no question that no contact is the answer to averting any kind of mess they love to provide. ZAri ballard who has written the most fantastic commodities on narcissists explains that the reasons they hoover is to fodder supply in case of need and also to ensure the victim never moves on from the pain they caused. THis could well be the answer to my detail case. I’m so sad for all the pain and sensing good innocent people are being caused. I can only reproduce what the experts say to go no or minimal contact – the latter for when children are troubled. I think i’m able to do this myself now, finally. STrength and resovle to us all to cut contact with the nightmare in order that healing be probable. HIi’m 21 years old. I just came out of a tie with a 35 year old narcissitic man. IT was awful. AT first i felt like a queen. AS time flew by things became bad. ALthough i blame myself because i should have left a long time ago. I’m very young i’ve been thru a lot he saw a chance to take edges . HE has lied about his whole life, later finding out he has a friend of 8years. HE also blamed me for that, for his girl finding out.

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HE sees you and knows your agony. COgnitive behavioral therapy cbt or inquisitive emotive therapy self help books availablewill assist you to verbalise your dilemas and grief over the disablement to be part of your grandchildren’s lives without the poignant abuse from narc. YOu can change your whereas and sensations aroound this, make your own resolutions based on what skills you can develope to deflect hurtful projections and manage to have some alliance with your grandies…. ALl power to you. REmember what they say and do reflects what is about them and not you. YOu might like to imagine a mirror between her and you so whatever hurtful operation etc is given out bounces back at the narc, and is not amalgamated into your loving self. YOga can also help that self strengthening, focussing on the inner nurturer, only responsible for one self and endorsing that change comes from within and what is around us just is and not our liability. HOpe this helps. FRom reading this n what anybody is saying im guessing my ex/admirer aught he is in my life is at narcissist. HE has been in my life for 3yrs kno. ANd for the 1st yr everything was ok we had our ups n downs but we worked them thru. HE lost his father n then his friend n then things changed. CHeating, lien, i feel used. I try to leave n get out but i feel lost with out him i don’t kno what to do. I have changed my number 2 times n he txt or calls or email n i fall into it. I changed my n its like a drug to have to talk to him.

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