THis helps me comprehend how i often allowed myself to take obligation for their irresponsible behavioural. THe missing parts in my minority due to narc and alcohol action kept me looking for someone else to rescue who can’t be rescued. BEing manipulated and managed was ever present. MOst of the other indications i am finally aware of thanks to a lot of investigation. MY brother are unhappily beyond talking on the subject. I don’t want to do them any harm rethinking our lives of subservient love that apt was the best we could expect. WE were trained not to work as a team due to suspicion from parents that we might find out that we had an assorted home life. SAd but true. I fell for that 13 year old sob story several times which adds up to about 20 years of artificial emotional involvements with women. I just needed to quit dependent my own choices for dealings for several years now. SOmetimes, when you are by himself you are finally in good company. THanks to all of you fellow wayfarers. BEst of luck. RIchard’s comment jump started back to aught my dissimilar analyst said long time ago, these abusive dysfunctional people don’t mature emotionally so i wonder if this is the reason why i feel when i’ve talked 2 my sister that i feel as if i’m talking to a child?I cut off phone conversations with her because she failed 2 respect my boundary even after she said she would. UNderstand i am an guru and spend most or all of my days repeating myself to young infants thru pre k age because they lack brain development to recall, however my sister just turned 50 and there’s no way i’m gonna spend more than twice repeating the same request 2 a person of this age. DOn’t have any other issues with anyone else just her. WEll, i chose no contact with her so she’s history until i’m fascinated. THankful for seeking out a investigator to help instead of option the alcohol/drugs avenue. SAdly there are more dysfunctional folks out in life than there are functional, sadly. I am in the same assignment you are in. MY husband is an abuser, positively hoovered everyone from me in the 2 years of nuptial we had. I filed for divorce. NO contact is the only way to be free of these people. I am a believing too, and had been praying about leaving for months. THen his web of lies started coming unraveled, and found he never even meant his vows, they were all a lie from the start. AS soon as i told him to get out of my house, he ran at once home to his mommy to suck her dry even more than he already has.
THe threats of taking my son and the very few things i have left have me living in fear. HE fools anyone around him into considering i’m an awful person when all i ever tried to do was help him. HE is a sick and twisted man i don’t want my son to be ducked in by his disception. WHat do i do?I work hard but barely make ends meet. ARe there any ways to make this easier, for i can’t handle anymore of his abuse?I keep reading the annotates on here and i didn’t mention the adultery his bizarre sex request and his drug abuse that he blames all on. HE’s fooled anybody for years saying he’s clean and getting commiseration from, i call them his chearleaders by making it look like im not knowledge of his habituation and i’m making it hard on him. I’ve stood by him through yrs of rehab when he would hook up with all these young girls there. I think to him it felt like he was in college. HE would beg and cry to come come home, positively i took him but yet i don’t comprehend anything and i am the bad one when now i’m living with my parents and my two boys and when he met me i owned my own home and my vehicle out righthad extraordinary credit now i’m starting from zero and he still is haunting my life. MY sister is a narcissist who has caused me, and my husband, a lot of grief. FOr some time, without us realizing, she told lies about us to the others in the family who believed her even though i was yet able to prove she was wrong. SHe also maligned us both behind our backs – we’re not sure how far this has travelled but have seen some material from family members not acknowledging gifts and not asking us to events when we might have due to be. LUckily we live a long way off so don’t have to see her, except that my mother is elderly and still needs our support. SIs is jealous because she lives near to mom so has to do more to look after her whilst i do what i can, visit and having mom to stay when liable, as well as phoning every day and helping with her funds. BUt she has nationally, to my other brother, unjustifiably accused me of not doing enough to help and is winding them up to agree with her nastiness. IN the interim, when she is is the mood, she is sweetness and light, pretending that nothing has eventuated and that all is well, hoovering away to keep in with me. IT’s hard to perceive that someone can be so nasty without any encouragement or avenge and then just switch on the charm the next day. ONe problem is getting my grown up kids to value that she is so nasty as they have always only seen the smarmy, charming side of her and some of them are in social media contact with her children so it’s hard for them to cut off when they have had no individual abuse itself. WE can only assume that the deep seated reason behind all of this is jealousy going back to childhood – i wasn’t aware that she felt like this but there are obviously some serious fracture lines there. NOn contact is positively the only way to go but total cut off can’t happen as long as mom is around. THis article is very helpful.