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I don’t see her much anyhow. THen she will start being “nice” to me, make small talk, and pretend aught ok. CYcle repeats. NOw i’ve gotten point where i don’t want to talk to her and get “hoovered” in as the that term says. IT’s hard when person is in house. SHe lies, does things intentionally to enrage me, make me annoyed, even sick i get migraines from smells and smells, etc i am sick, so stressed i get migraines almost daily. SHe’s ascendant, cold, has no empathy, self entitled, and lacks remorse. SHe’s very cruel. WHat’s best way to detach when you still have to live with someone?LAst couple days i’ve been trying to not say one word and she keeps trying to talk to me. SHe’s guilty cause she left for a nice fancy holiday and left my mom and i here. WE don’t feel well enough to go anyhow, i don’t want go w/her but she goes lots places and does what she pleases. WE are stuck in house, no transition. SHe doesn’t give a crap. IT’s all about her. ANd she complains how hard she has it. MY mom and i are both crippled in lots of pain, can’t work. I’m struggling to just type this on phone. ANyhow. WAnted to share my story cause these leeches can also be family members and not just romanticist companions. I finally had enough and kicked out my narcissist with my family’s help. I was doing great, then felt so lonely last weekend. MY tire blew out on the highway, and i called him – big mistake. HE wanted money for helping me, even though i had already given him $15,000 in a 2 year period, plus always paid his way for eating out, movies, gas. IT was a total con game for him. I don’t know how i could be so stupid, but now he truly has declined me, because i wouldn’t give him any longer money, so, it’s hurting, but i know i will heal in time. HE is a classic narcissist. THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money problems and general life trouble, so therefore he compulsory that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful association. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t dig myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after something he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent operation and him knowing i was out with friends i accepted a text from him saying basically he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i replied… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, something he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too.

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BUt the one thing he will never take is my soul. HE was killing my spirit. I was worn out, disorganized, sad, lonely, alone, and ignored. BRoke up mother’s day. MOved back to the house i still owned that my girls was living in. NO contact. I am going to be 66 yrs old. I don’t know why i could ever believe that someone else’s happiness/welfare was more important than my own. I apologize to me for abusing me. I am curio. I am lovable. I am a human being. THey are hollow. SAve yourselves and leave. HEllo kay, you are right, they are hollow; hollow empty souls. I told my oldest sister one day about 8 months ago that she was a sad empty soul. SHe looked angry and confused and slammed door. I believe she has narcissistic character disorder. I regrettably had to move in w/her and my elderly mother for fiscal reasons. IT’s been almost 6 yrs. I’ve expanded health complexities, had surgeries, that have prevented me from working and moving back on my own. I will be moving soon working on plan she has bullied me and emotionally abused me and denies it. WE’ve had terrible altercations. I stand up for myself and tell her how i feel so she doesn’t like that which gets her angry. I’ve been scared. THen there’s this period where we won’t talk and avoid each other. I don’t see her much anyhow. THen she will start being “nice” to me, make small talk, and pretend something ok. CYcle repeats. NOw i’ve gotten point where i don’t want to talk to her and get “hoovered” in as the that term says. IT’s hard when person is in house. SHe lies, does things intentionally to anger me, make me annoyed, even sick i get migraines from fragrances and smells, etc i am sick, so stressed i get migraines almost daily. SHe’s ascendant, cold, has no empathy, self warranted, and lacks remorse. SHe’s very cruel. WHat’s best way to detach when you still have to live with someone?LAst couple days i’ve been trying to not say one word and she keeps trying to talk to me. SHe’s guilty cause she left for a nice fancy festival and left my mom and i here.

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NOt cured but i am seeing advance!I am supported to realize no contact is the best with the narcissist. I have the same undergo. IT is schoking to see what is really going on, to poke that your mom never loved you. I have a girls who is now 24 years old and she is suffering, too!ACtually my girls opened my eyes. NOw my parents are hoovering, her, too. ANd it happens always exactly in the moment when i or my maids are working for our lives to go on, maybe having some obstacles on the way: then my parents decide to put their fingers on our lives and decide to “help”. EVen no help is asked. THe point is to keep me and my daughter under the controll, nothing else. MY childs said to my father that she takes contact when she is ready. DId my parents esteemed that?NO, they all the time try to press her to take contact. ANd when it is not working with her she does not answer , they contact me, sending some “unsophisticated” dispatches that i do not believe any moore. THe aim is to get us hooked again!THank you alice, i have been abused as a child, only to marry a bully and raise babes that bully me, now after years of trying to escape, i am back living in usa, cents of reason why i should be punished for what i did they say, i never can do enough to please them, or spend enough, i get cornor by wanting to see my grandchildren, i put up with their bullying me, after dec. 22 and a stroke, and aneurysm that can’t be fixed, i came out one last time to see my granddaughter, but with all the yelling at me for not being loving enough , i see it has infected my granddaughter. NOt sure what to do, but will have to make a choice to live away from all of them. THank you for dedicating your life to what needs to be address so dearlyzi feel like ruby. HAd a narcissitic lover. HE drained me of alot of my savings. HE always blamed me for all his life complexities. HOwever, now that i have broken up with him, i feel this sense of loss, like i’m disconnected to the world. I have no young, and few friends as i am an introvert. MY life is calm and peaceful, but a part of me misses him, but he is bad for me. IF i got back with him, my life would be a wreck again, my money would float down the drain, and my energy would be sucked out of me. JUst don’t know how to get over this split feeling i have. ANybody undergo this?I’d understand your input. HEllo rose, had needy friends i used 2 think needed 2 be around them until i noticed how narcissistic they are, and then i decided 2 slowly back away from them. HAd male friends but it became at times arguments between 1 guy and another guy striving 2 get my regard. IT was tiring. I used 2 think i’m not the referee here, they lacked self guarantee, self esteem, and i felt burdened by having 2 reassure each of them for their benefactions in the devotion. I gave them my affection they brought drama and gossip which is dysfunctional. IT was a huge burden. I want 2 be around secure folks, not folks that have issues, and want to use me for aught they need.
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I lived this life and it was a habitual dare that was met with many emotionally charged situations. FIrst i want to thank you all for sharing this topic. I never applied there was a term for enduring this kind of abuse. I am a survivor as well. I did event boughts of panic and anxiety, blues, and the anecdotes anxiety are now few and far between. MY anxous reactions occur now only when he approaches to contact me. HE in fact called me out of the blue from another number to tell me that his phone was being serviced and not to attempt to contact him!I had been in no contact for months!REading this article helped to validate my emotions and answers to having proficient this association. NOw that i know what it was, i can know the pattern, commit to and be steady with “no contact”, and abide to heal. I will also now be able help distinguish these ills misery from this and help refer them to therapists individualizing in this manipulation. ROse, while it’s counter intuitive, take heart from the fact that, because it’s never been about you, you are not going to be able save him. YOu, and your true self, are not really ‘present’ for him, so you are not accountable either. WHat you need to do is to guard your own happiness, peace of mind and health. TAking responsibility for your own life is the best and only way for you to to live, and for him to learn to respect you. FAlling into a caretaker role will only change you in ways that will do you no good. STop caretaking the borderline or narcissist: how to end the drama and get on with life, by margalis fjelstad, is a wonderful book that will empower you and all others dealing with narcissists. SUch designed and heartfelt explains typifying so much pain. ROll on royal commissions and hope the feers are as wonderful as the rc into institution abuse now increased to feast the depth and bredth of such a societal scourge. ACknowledgment and gratitude of all types of abuse by those in power and weild power over others wil assist healing and the likeliness of retrieving customized power once again. NExt royal authorizes needs to be focused on naming and shaming narcs and their organisations who harbour and hire the narcs to do a job on staff. ALl power to you who recognise and exit the individualised power drain of pathological narcs. ALice: i had never come across the idea that failing to mature much beyond 13 years old emotionally. THis helps me understand how i oftentimes allowed myself to take accountability for their irresponsible action. THe missing parts in my adolescence due to narc and alcohol behavioral kept me looking for someone else to rescue who can’t be rescued. BEing manipulated and directed was ever present. MOst of the other symptoms i am finally aware of thanks to a lot of inquiry. MY relatives are unhappily beyond talking on the subject. I don’t want to do them any harm rethinking our lives of subservient love that liable was the best we could expect. WE were trained not to work as a team due to suspicion from parents that we might learn that we had an deviant home life. SAd but true. I fell for that 13 year old sob story several times which adds up to about 20 years of unnatural emotional involvements with women. I just needed to quit subject to my own choices for relatives for several years now.
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