I’ve been married to a narcissist sociopath for 13 yrs. SO much damage has been done but i’m rebuilding. I started the no contact but we have a child all together and are not divorced or legally divided yet. THe threats of taking my son and the very few things i have left have me living in fear. HE fools everybody around him into thought i’m an awful person when all i ever tried to do was help him. HE is a sick and twisted man i don’t want my son to be ducked in by his disception. WHat do i do?I work hard but barely make ends meet. ARe there any ways to make this easier, for i can’t handle anymore of his abuse?I keep reading the commentaries on here and i didn’t mention the adultery his bizarre sex request and his drug abuse that he blames whole on. HE’s fooled all for years saying he’s clean and getting compassion from, i call them his chearleaders by making it look like im not cognizance of his habit and i’m making it hard on him. I’ve stood by him through yrs of rehab when he would hook up with all these young girls there. I think to him it felt like he was in college. HE would beg and cry to come come home, positively i took him but yet i don’t value all and i am the awful one when now i’m living with my parents and my two boys and when he met me i owned my own home and my vehicle out righthad wonderful credit now i’m start from zero and he still is haunting my life. MY sister is a narcissist who has caused me, and my husband, a lot of grief. FOr some time, without us realizing, she told lies about us to the others in the family who presumed her even though i was eventually able to prove she was wrong. SHe also maligned us both behind our backs – we’re not sure how far this has travelled but have seen some evidence from family members not acknowledging gifts and not asking us to events when we might have foreseen to be. LUckily we live a long way off so don’t have to see her, except that my mother is elderly and still needs our support. SIs is jealous because she lives near to mom so has to do more to look after her whilst i do what i can, calling and having mom to stay when likely, containing phoning every day and helping with her finance. BUt she has nationwide, to my other brother, unjustifiably accused me of not doing enough to help and is winding them up to agree with her nastiness. IN the pause, when she is is the mood, she is sweetness and light, pretending that nothing has passed and that all is well, hoovering away to keep in with me. IT’s hard to comprehend that someone can be so nasty without any provocation or retribution and then just switch on the charm the next day. ONe problem is getting my grown up kids to enjoy that she is so nasty as they have always only seen the smarmy, beautiful side of her and some of them are in social media contact with her babies so it’s hard for them to cut off when they have had no personal abuse yourself. WE can only assume that the deep seated reason behind all of this is jealousy going back to minority – i wasn’t aware that she felt like this but there are obviously some serious fracture lines there. NOn contact is definitely the only way to go but total cut off can’t happen as long as mom is around. THis article is very helpful. I have narcissistic, emotionally abusive parents. AT the age of 31, i am still feeling like a scolded child just for having stood up for myself, not granting them to cross my ends and undermine my parenting.
IN the process, i almost lost my mind and the weigh loss on the last five months was the red line for me. I always told him that if i was obliged to choose between my love for him and my love for myself, i would not hesitate in option me and the time came when i had to quit the journey. I wish him the best and i think he needs love like any other human been but i have no more energy for it, though i love him. THat makes things hard do thrash since he doesn’t leave space to breath but my mind is made up. BEing sensible of what could happen when i got back to him last time, helped me to not dissolve myself in the process. IT is very grave for everything in life that you don’t doubt herself besides healthy self doubt which helps to evolve and always trust your guts. THough people can change, it is essential to label what needs change and that seems impossible to a narcissist. EVen so, i feel sorry for him because i believe he suffers and i see no way for him to conquer happiness in life. EVerybody fears him or dislikes him because of his agressive activity which he doesn’t mark and he can’t feel real connected, even when he’s loved he acts under his insecurity. IT’s sad. RIght now he is texting me how much he misses me and loves me et cetera. INstinctively i cut his access to me, since the moment i had to call the police once he came drunk to my door and as i didn’t open he started calling me names loudly so all the street could hear. IT was very sad thing to do but necessary. ANd though i love him, i will and i won’t ever love anyone above myself. THough i have strong love and commitment for the people in my life, i allow no one to treat me less than i deserve. I was dejected all my live and felt lonely many times but once i recovered my self love i never gave it away. I’m able to forgo in the name of love or any other thing i decide worthy but is me who decides, i say how i want to be treated. I told him there ware bounds but he didn’t listen and i kept my promise. I lost weigh, money, my job and almost lost my mind but here i am, recovering. BElieving in myself and in my intuition helps a lot. LOving myself is crucial. IN the defying moments i try to listen to chakra cleansing sounds or binaural beat waves or some guided thoughts, subject to on the state of mind. THere are lots of options, to every taste and need. I also have been reading about human behavioural since i recall so i use the ability do observe myself and all else from a neutral point of view, what grants me some pellucidity. I also have a very supportive family abetted since i left the association and helping me go trough this moment. SEarch for specialised help if you don’t feel strong enough to whip this by yourself.