REmember what they say and do reflects what is about them and not you. YOu might like to imagine a mirror between her and you so that hurtful handling etc is given out bounces back at the narc, and is not unified into your loving self. YOga can also help that self invigorating, centering on the inner nurturer, only apt for one self and consenting that change comes from within and what is around us just is and not our accountability. HOpe this helps. FRom reading this n what everybody is saying im guessing my ex/paramour how he is in my life is at narcissist. HE has been in my life for 3yrs kno. ANd for the 1st yr anybody was ok we had our ups n downs but we worked them thru. HE lost his father n then his friend n then things changed. CHeating, lien, i feel used. I try to leave n get out but i feel lost with out him i don’t kno what to do. I have changed my number 2 times n he txt or calls or email n i fall into it. I changed my n its like a drug to have to talk to him. I dont kno why i even think he can change, it kills me inside. HE don’t see the pain he is causing me. I need help to get out of it n not fall back but i dont know how :im wondering if i had the hoover manuover done on me!I’m sure my ex is a narcissist!I dumped him after another tantrum in which solicitous me called be police and after him blaming me!FOr months he sent love songs, texts even flowers, never had flowers even after our kids were born, no note though with them!OFfered me coffee, takeaways etc etc, then hastily he’s got a girl friend and she’s moved in with him!WOw not even introduced her to the kids!THen the random stuff begins, once maybe twice a month a email of nothing but a jar of sweets or everything else!THen social media, the endless pics of them posing looking so happy!THen the texts telling me he met a famous guy at the weekend!?YEs and ?YOu’ve got a girl friend so why text me?IT’s been 5 mths since then as i ignored whole he sent me and he’s gone definitely silent!I was questioning if he was trying to manipulate me or maybe triangulate?I married him. WAs tired of the roller coaster and wanted it to stop. I thought if i brought dependability to his life – structure, etc. HE’d thrive. 3 l/2 yrs ago. THen the real abuse started. RAther than appreciate my gifts – he took advantages of me and escalated his demands. HE imperiled to smash in my face, took up with another woman when out of town and i was having surgery, was neglectful, never gave me a dime – had to beg for grocery money – and the kicker. THe last straw… mother’s day and he deliberately refused to accept me. I told him if he disrespected me one more time – i was out the door. I left. FOr good.
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HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his models remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still expected me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the captivating blinds he established at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very costly beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00. HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep melancholy, but better this functioning phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and physically, someone who i’m originally excited to be with, but by power, conduct, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to. I find myself daydreaming of how good it could be if he was more normal,but he’s never going to change. I wen thru this instruct where u write down every adverse thing about him and i just kept writing and writing. HE has really done some cruel mean shit to me. WHen i start to miss him, i take out what i wrote, and revoke how hurt he made me feel, then i don’t miss him for a while. HE once broke a wine bottle and 2 glasses on the street, drove my car 90 mph and jeopardized to wrap the car around a pole, unless i gave him all the money in my wallet all bc i joked about how he never keeps a job in front of one of his friends. HE did this after i had paid for appetizers and drinks for all of us 54. 00 and i’m completely certain he had whatever going on with the coffee shop hostess. IT was so blatantly obvious!I’m sure he either knew her, had sex with her, or got her number. I think of this and wonder how could i want to see him after this, but i did.
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