I told him to leave which was a combat for me. THen came by my house again a few weeks later to flaunt two very young girls in the car with him. EVery day is a battle for me. I know he won’t change , it’s been over 3 years , but every day is a fight. EFfects my entire life. DOn’t know how to move past this. I just want to forget it ever eventuated. I’ve been married to a narcissist sociopath for 13 yrs. SO much damage has been done but i’m rebuilding. I started the no contact but we have a child calm and are not divorced or legally separated yet. THe threats of taking my son and the very few things i have left have me living in fear. HE fools anybody around him into inasmuch as i’m an awful person when all i ever tried to do was help him. HE is a sick and twisted man i don’t want my son to be ducked in by his disception. WHat do i do?I work hard but barely make ends meet. ARe there any ways to make this easier, for i can’t handle anymore of his abuse?I keep reading the explanations on here and i didn’t mention the adultery his bizarre sex request and his drug abuse that he blames everything on. HE’s fooled everybody for years saying he’s clean and getting commiseration from, i call them his chearleaders by making it look like im not consciousness of his dependency and i’m making it hard on him. I’ve stood by him through yrs of rehab when he would hook up with all these young girls there. I think to him it felt like he was in college. HE would beg and cry to come come home, of course i took him but yet i don’t understand anything and i am the horrible one when now i’m living with my parents and my two boys and when he met me i owned my own home and my vehicle out righthad marvellous credit now i’m commencing from zero and he still is haunting my life. MY sister is a narcissist who has caused me, and my husband, a lot of grief. FOr some time, without us realizing, she told lies about us to the others in the family who presumed her even though i was yet able to prove she was wrong. SHe also maligned us both behind our backs – we’re not sure how far this has travelled but have seen some material from family members not acknowledging gifts and not interrogative us to events when we might have predictable to be. LUckily we live a long way off so don’t have to see her, except that my mother is elderly and still needs our support. SIs is jealous because she lives near to mom so has to do more to look after her whilst i do what i can, calling and having mom to stay when probable, containing phoning every day and helping with her finance. BUt she has nationally, to my other relatives, unjustifiably accused me of not doing enough to help and is winding them up to agree with her nastiness. IN the interval, when she is is the mood, she is sweetness and light, pretending that nothing has eventuated and that all is well, hoovering away to keep in with me. IT’s hard to comprehend that someone can be so nasty without any provocation or reprisal and then just switch on the charm the next day. ONe problem is getting my grown up kids to enjoy that she is so nasty as they have always only seen the smarmy, charming side of her and some of them are in social media contact with her young so it’s hard for them to cut off when they have had no particular abuse himself. WE can only assume that the deep seated reason behind all of this is jealousy going back to childhood – i wasn’t aware that she felt like this but there are apparently some serious shattering lines there. NOn contact is utterly the only way to go but total cut off can’t happen as long as mom is around. THis article is very helpful.
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