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YOu’re only extending the healing process. I feel better every day and so relaxed. WHat i just explicated was only one episode of many. I could write a book and i just might!BEst wishes. REmember no contact is best!ANd also, your friends and even family will not fully comprehend!BUt there is plenty of support here and on line. JUst google how to move on after a breakup. THere is a ton of help out there and of course there is personal therapy which i used while i was in the relationship with him. I know now, the moving on and healing is all up to me. IT’s tough first, but the more time passes, the easier it gets, until one day, you don’t think of him anymore. I’ve just started this process myself. IT is almost concretely debilitating. I want so badly to re connect, because part of our alliance was happy and excited, but mostly it wasn’t happy and it was draining. WE tend to only revoke the good parts. I’ve started writing down all the bad parts and there were many more bad parts. TRust me, i’ going thru the exact same thing you are. BEst wishes,roseit was discard 3 when i finally came upon narcissistic abuse. PRior to that time i was a shell of myself, losin weight from not eating, sobbing on the floor, feeling like a total failure and that no one would ever love me but i didn’t know why. PRior to him i was a pretty assured woman, minus some insecurities due to things that happened in my childhood – that’s the one thing i wish i hadn’t shared with him. NO matter the issue, no matter the accosts i had for him to go back to being the man i fell in love with, he would closely use those insecurities as the sole reason things weren’t working out between us. THe times he would come back, which i now know is hoovering, my confidence would be on 1000% and he would steadily keep bring up who i used to be until he slowly brought me back into the land of anxiety and doubting myself anyplace again. THis past june i ended the relationship. 4 years of this was enough. I have been no contact ever since 5 months. I have blocked him from my phone, texts, all social media and up until recently all emails go instantly to the deleted folder i was told to put them in another folder in case i needed them for legal purposes. LAst week i saw that he has sent me 6 dispatches in 12 days…one email was blaming my “insecurities” on why things didn’t work out again, telling me i was crazy for not seeing how much he “loves” me and piling on more of the spiritual abuse he did through our relationship, ensued by a link to what men wish women knew about them, 3 sermons on insecurity and then one telling me about a new highway opening up. I have still lasted silent. I have been no contact for 7 weeks. I had a few defies with him showing up at my door telling me he missed me and how much he loved me but them close went to if i didn’t act the way i did, he wouldn’t say the things he says. YEs always my fault. I told him to leave which was a conflict for me. THen came by my house again a few weeks later to flaunt two very young girls in the car with him. EVery day is a fight for me. I know he won’t change , it’s been over 3 years , but every day is a battle. EFfects my entire life. DOn’t know how to move past this. I just want to forget it ever occurred.
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I have a wenches who is now 24 years old and she is undergoing, too!ACtually my girls opened my eyes. NOw my parents are hoovering, her, too. ANd it happens always exactly in the moment when i or my daughters are working for our lives to go on, maybe having some obstacles on the way: then my parents decide to put their fingers on our lives and decide to “help”. EVen no help is asked. THe point is to keep me and my girls under the controll, nothing else. MY wenches said to my father that she takes contact when she is ready. DId my parents esteemed that?NO, they all the time try to press her to take contact. ANd when it is not working with her she does not answer , they contact me, sending some “innocuous” epistles that i do not believe any moore. THe aim is to get us hooked again!THank you alice, i have been abused as a child, only to marry a bully and raise babes that bully me, now after years of trying to escape, i am back living in usa, cents of reason why i should be punished for what i did they say, i never can do enough to please them, or spend enough, i get cornor by wanting to see my grandchildren, i put up with their bullying me, after dec. 22 and a stroke, and aneurysm that can’t be fixed, i came out one last time to see my granddaughter, but with all the yelling at me for not being loving enough , i see it has septic my granddaughter. NOt sure what to do, but will have to make a choice to live away from all of them. THank you for dedicating your life to what needs to be address so dearlyzi feel like ruby. HAd a narcissitic lover. HE drained me of alot of my savings. HE always blamed me for all his life discharges. HOwever, now that i have broken up with him, i feel this sense of loss, like i’m split to the world. I have no children, and few friends as i am an introvert. MY life is calm and quiet, but a part of me misses him, but he is bad for me. IF i got back with him, my life would be a wreck again, my money would float down the drain, and my energy would be sucked out of me. JUst don’t know how to get over this split feeling i have. ANybody suffer this?I’d enjoy your input.
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