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TWo days ago i received an email from him apologising for the mean way he treated me, that i was a fantastic loving dangling who deserved to be happy. HE said he has had to take a hard look at himself and how he has treated women. HE said he had now taken responsibility for the pain and upset he has caused. HE wished me a happy life and said he hopes i will find a fantastic man who will guard me and treat me me with the love and respect i deserve. CAn this be deliberate a hoover if he did not want everything from me nor seem to want to get back into my life?COuld he at 65 had an epiphany and ensued a describes?I went through it all with him, the silent behaviors, lying, cheating, anger if i dared say anything, been discarded quickly without a word, ignored, blocked and unblocked on fb etc etc. SO how is it liable that he wrote these extraordinary sounding words. CAn anyone tell me what it means?I think this all part of his game. HE has to have narcissistic supply, whether that it sure or opposed – he just needs to know that he is having an effect on you of some sort and he will only get that if you give a response. AT the moment he is testing the waters to see if he can worm his way back into your life. OF course, he doesn’t know that he is in your head night and day and that his message has caused definite turmoil for you – if he gets any idea that has ensued, he will get his narcissistic supply from that. IF you reply with something auspicious, he may well attempt to get back into your life concretely containing mentally. YOu may have seen this article but it describes quite well the cycle. THenarcissisticpersonality. COm/hoover manuver/ the only thing you can do is to utterly ignore this man’s petitions and try to move your life in a control where you can just forget him, very hard, i know. PErhaps there is someone else on this forum with similar biography to mira who can advise her that this will work?HI milly,there’s no suspect that no contact is the answer to escaping any kind of turmoil they love to provide. ZAri ballard who has written the most wonderful articles on narcissists annotates that the reasons they hoover is to fodder supply in case of need and also to ensure the victim never moves on from the pain they caused. THis could well be the answer to my any case. I’m so sad for all the pain and experiencing good pure people are being caused. I can only echo what the experts say to go no or minimal contact – the latter for when children are troubled. I think i’m able to do this myself now, finally. STrength and resovle to us all to cut contact with the nightmare in order that healing be probable. HIi’m 21 years old. I just came out of a affiliation with a 35 year old narcissitic man. IT was awful. AT first i felt like a queen. AS time flew by things became bad. ALthough i blame myself because i should have left a long time ago. I’m very young i’ve been thru a lot he saw a chance to take gains . HE has lied about his whole life, later finding out he has a lover of 8years. HE also blamed me for that, for his girl finding out. EVen thought she called me.
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