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WE tend to only repeal the good parts. I’ve started writing down all the bad parts and there were many more bad parts. TRust me, i’ going thru the exact same thing you are. BEst wishes,roseit was discard 3 when i finally came upon narcissistic abuse. PRior to that time i was a shell of myself, losin weight from not eating, sobbing on the floor, feeling like a total failure and that no one would ever love me but i didn’t know why. PRior to him i was a pretty positive woman, minus some insecurities due to things that eventuated in my childhood – that’s the one thing i wish i hadn’t shared with him. NO matter the issue, no matter the appeals i had for him to go back to being the man i fell in love with, he would immediately use those insecurities as the sole reason things weren’t working out between us. THe times he would come back, which i now know is hoovering, my assurance would be on 1000% and he would constantly keep fetch up who i used to be until he slowly brought me back into the land of anxiety and doubting myself anyplace again. THis past june i ended the tie. 4 years of this was enough. I have been no contact ever since 5 months. I have blocked him from my phone, texts, all social media and up until lately all emails go instantly to the deleted folder i was told to put them in another folder in case i needed them for legal ends. LAst week i saw that he has sent me 6 epistles in 12 days…one email was blaming my “insecurities” on why things didn’t work out again, telling me i was crazy for not seeing how much he “loves” me and piling on more of the incorporeal abuse he did through our affiliation, ensued by a link to what men wish women knew about them, 3 sermons on insecurity and then one telling me about a new highway opening up. I have still lingered silent. I have been no contact for 7 weeks. I had a few encounters with him showing up at my door telling me he missed me and how much he loved me but them intimately went to if i didn’t act the way i did, he wouldn’t say the things he says.