“Hoover maneuver” was coined after the name of a popular vacuum cleaner, alluding to the fact abusers often attempt to suction up narcissistic supply from prior sources people. SUrvivors of narcissistic abuse should not be fooled by the hoover maneuver. SUch an action is not a sign that the abusive person loves the remainer or that he/she can change and abruptly develop reciprocity, authentically own accountability for blunders, and systematically show emotional maturity. THe analogy of a vampire sinking fangs into the jugular vein works here. THe abusive person may home in on the target’s vulnerabilities wanting to be sanctioned, loved, lovely, etc. ANd try to hook that person back into another abuse cycle, solely for the benefit of soothing the abusive person’s ego—no more, no less. THey never go, it seems unthinkable to believe when they have quickly moved into a fresh connection and raged at you. IT is sadly a fact that they keep coming back to the ex’s with all sorts of strange creepy methods to impart. THe beloved hoover of mine is “i miss you” by text, once blocked he moved to fb once blocked it was post, email and then visits to my home. I created an email just for him to stop the visits and post. ONe day he will give up i keep my echoes minimal and my answers are brief and delayed to contain the condition. I’m hoping a ramped up intercourse when he ruins his current link. IM unsure as to whether my sweetheart is a narcisist…. THere is always drama in his life and he takes no singular liability for his poor choices. AT the genesis of our rship he pursued me mostly and showered me with gifts and regards, almost putting me on a pedestal. HOwever as time went on, he has exhibited quite commanding and. NEgative demeanour, such as putting me down, shouting and making fun out of me. HE has a temper but has said he would never hit me!BUt poignant blackmail is used and i can see through his lies and operation. WE have broken up several times, mostly from me putting my foot down and demanding he treats me better but he always manages to win me back with sob stories and shrinks of changing. IM just so confused as hes so sweet and loving in some ways but very hurtful and selfish in others. IM no angel either but i try to control things maturely. DOes he sound like a narcisit and can he change?WOuld love some advice on this. YEs he is a narcissist and he will never change. IT’s a hard truth to accept,the harsh reality that they will never change. NArcissists are very good actors who trick you into orthodox that they can connect with you emotionally. THe truth us that they are incapable of making an touching connection with anyone. I am a recovering childs of a narcissistic mother. I was fooled for a long time inasmuch as i could change her, and considering that she actually cared about me. THe moment you make this acknowledgment, you will feel like a fool primarily because it took so long to figure it out, but it is easy to fall into the narcissistic trap and no one should feel foolish for falling for it. THe best thing you can do for her is to cut it off. I wish the very best for you!THis describes my mom to a t.
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