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FAlling into a caretaker role will only change you in ways that will do you no good. STop caretaking the borderline or narcissist: how to end the drama and get on with life, by margalis fjelstad, is a fantastic book that will empower you and all others dealing with narcissists. SUch deliberate and heartfelt explanations typifying so much pain. ROll on royal board and hope the chargers are as wonderful as the rc into organization abuse currently augmented to consider the depth and bredth of such a societal scourge. ACknowledgment and recognition of all types of abuse by those in power and weild power over others wil assist healing and the likelihood of retrieving singular power once again. NExt royal committee needs to be focused on naming and shaming narcs and their organisations who harbour and hire the narcs to do a job on laborers. ALl power to you who recognise and exit the individual power drain of pathological narcs. ALice: i had never come across the idea that failing to mature much beyond 13 years old emotionally. THis helps me appreciate how i oftentimes allowed myself to take accountability for their irresponsible comportment. THe missing parts in my childhood due to narc and alcohol behavior kept me looking for someone else to rescue who can’t be rescued. BEing manipulated and directed was ever present. MOst of the other symptom i am finally aware of thanks to a lot of test. MY relatives are unfortunately beyond talking on the subject. I don’t want to do them any harm rethinking our lives of contingent love that possible was the best we could expect. WE were trained not to work as a team due to suspicion from parents that we might find out that we had an kinky home life. SAd but true. I fell for that 13 year old sob story several times which adds up to about 20 years of artificial affecting involvements with women. I just needed to quit depending my own choices for family for several years now. SOmetimes, when you are by itself you are finally in good company. THanks to all of you fellow wayfarers. BEst of luck. RIchard’s comment jump started back to something my dissimilar examiner said long time ago, these abusive dysfunctional people don’t mature emotionally so i wonder if this is the reason why i feel when i’ve talked 2 my sister that i feel as if i’m talking to a child?I cut off phone conversations with her because she failed 2 respect my border even after she said she would. UNderstand i am an professor and spend most or all of my days repeating myself to babes infants thru pre k age because they lack brain evolution to repeal, however my sister just turned 50 and there’s no way i’m gonna spend more than twice repeating the same request 2 a person of this age. DOn’t have any other issues with anyone else just her. WEll, i chose no contact with her so she’s history before i’m anxious. THankful for seeking out a psychoanalyst to help instead of election the alcohol/drugs avenue.

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WE may be deceived to enter a toxic association because we don’t know the person on the alpha but is our duty to concede the alert signs and respect them. STaying or leaving must be a informed mediation, guided by your hopes and not your fears read anxiety of being lonely or feel unloved. YOu will feel unloved untill you love herself. WOrk on that. THough you ware victimized, you don’t have to feel a victim; that will take your power away. THere are no magical answers but there will be proceeds, just keep focused. IF you analyse the initial contacts with your ex, you will identify your guts telling you no!; learn from that. OBserve herself and what you feel and you will learn how to make healthier resolutions in bonds and aught else. I’m instruction too and even after this, i’m evolving. I believe that we need to learn disclosure and that does not mean to be a prey. I’m wishing you the best. STay strong. @Alicebravo!I’m getting out of 24 years to a covert narc. THe exposure in this divorce is paralyzing at best. I just woke up from a 10 year fog, each time i rose above the fog, i battled oppression that was so thick, it smothered me. I have 4 babies, i did the give up of staying to give them continuity, i was so wrong, because they all got screwed into his handling. THus, them blame me and its severed some bridges. IVe been seeking out books, and therapy, alt med treatments, etc. I found emdr therapy to be greatest at finding triggers in one session!IT is truly amazing how fast you come to where it all started. MY first one took me back to the age of 5 in 10 mins!IVe been through acupuncture, chiropractors, hypnosis, and biofeedback…. IVe been 9 months without a sleep cycle 3hours in 2011, but this time around i collected cptsd with fibromyalgia – oh so painful, daily now for 16 months : no good days without pain, because newspaper a piece to the puzzle being his supply pops into view.
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I’ve been scared. THen there’s this period where we won’t talk and avoid each other. I don’t see her much anyhow. THen she will start being “nice” to me, make small talk, and pretend something ok. CYcle repeats. NOw i’ve gotten point where i don’t want to talk to her and get “hoovered” in as the that term says. IT’s hard when person is in house. SHe lies, does things intentionally to provoke me, make me annoyed, even sick i get migraines from bouquets and smells, etc i am sick, so stressed i get migraines almost daily. SHe’s commanding, cold, has no empathy, self entitled, and lacks remorse. SHe’s very cruel. WHat’s best way to detach when you still have to live with someone?LAst couple days i’ve been trying to not say one word and she keeps trying to talk to me. SHe’s guilty cause she left for a nice fancy celebration and left my mom and i here. WE don’t feel well enough to go anyhow, i don’t want go w/her but she goes lots places and does what she pleases. WE are stuck in house, no passage. SHe doesn’t give a crap. IT’s all about her. ANd she complains how hard she has it. MY mom and i are both lame in lots of pain, can’t work. I’m struggling to just type this on phone. ANyhow. WAnted to share my story cause these leeches can also be family members and not just unrealistic investors. I finally had enough and kicked out my narcissist with my family’s help. I was doing great, then felt so lonely last weekend. MY tire blew out on the highway, and i called him – big mistake. HE wanted money for helping me, even though i had already given him $15,000 in a 2 year period, plus always paid his way for eating out, movies, gas. IT was a total con game for him. I don’t know how i could be so stupid, but now he truly has dismissed me, because i wouldn’t give him another money, so, it’s hurting, but i know i will heal in time. HE is a classic narcissist. THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money trouble and general life distress, so therefore he requisite that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful alliance. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t understand myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after all he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent conduct and him knowing i was out with friends i sanctioned a text from him saying in essence he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i returned… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, whatever he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too. HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he discloses he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it professional unfortunately as i cant be seen to be an touching mess behind the bar in front of the public…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an moving rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up commonplace.

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