I was doing great, then felt so lonely last weekend. MY tire blew out on the highway, and i called him – big mistake. HE wanted money for helping me, even though i had already given him $15,000 in a 2 year period, plus always paid his way for eating out, movies, gas. IT was a total con game for him. I don’t know how i could be so stupid, but now he truly has rejected me, because i wouldn’t give him another money, so, it’s hurting, but i know i will heal in time. HE is a classic narcissist. THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money difficulties and general life trouble, so accordingly he obligatory that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful tie. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t appreciate myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after something he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent figuring and him knowing i was out with friends i conventional a text from him saying primarily he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i retorted… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, aught he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too. HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he declares he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it career regrettably as i cant be seen to be an moving mess behind the bar in front of the patrons…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an moving rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up diurnal. LOve rp xxange,let the money go – and let him go. HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his models remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still anticipated me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the beautiful blinds he installed at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very darling beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00. HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep dejection, but better this functioning phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and physically, someone who i’m originally excited to be with, but by power, treatment, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to. I find myself daydreaming of how good it could be if he was more normal,but he’s never going to change. I wen thru this coach where u write down every contrary thing about him and i just kept writing and writing. HE has really done some cruel mean shit to me. WHen i start to miss him, i take out what i wrote, and remember how hurt he made me feel, then i don’t miss him for a while.
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THese are just a small scale model of an example. TO go in detail, i feel wpuld be a trigger for some. I finally said no more on friday, and my weekend consisted of my mother and my father telling me i am a bully, that i am aggressive, abusive and have anger complexities or that i am having mood swings as they always do when i stand my ground, try to set rims or even just have my own point of view. WHen i did not accept that they started blaming my husband of being abusive, and making me move internal just to keep me solitary amongst other horrid citations, when i was the one that made the call to move away!I had enough, either i am a bad evil childs for class up for myself or i am under the control of an abusive husband who simply cannot be strong enough to be saying ‘enough’ without it managed by my husband. THen i comprehended, they are designed. THey were the ones who made move away from any i knew, the town i grew up in to a place where i was lone. I had noone. ANd when i did they accused them of the same. WHile they were essentially saying “this is all in your head” was a trigger for another trauma in my life was caused by them i learned anything. IT’s not me and never has been. I also realize why they have gotten under my skin for this long. I’d finally comprehended how wrong their behavioural is. I reminisced all the problems they had with my relatives, that they poisoned me to think was not my parents fault. THey did the same to my brother in further levels, and they no longer have any contact with them yet they still refuse to claim accountability for. THey will never change and my life will never improve while they have their claws in. IN short, this article has been a helpful tool and my feels have motivated me to want to study psychology so i can help others as well as myself. WE had charming times simultaneously but bad too. HE was diagnosed with bipolar jumble and pharma medicated along with self medicated with cannabis. I lost myself in his ways. I am now seeing the truth. HE is narcissistic and i didn’t realize it.