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WE were trained not to work as a team due to suspicion from parents that we might find out that we had an kinky home life. SAd but true. I fell for that 13 year old sob story several times which adds up to about 20 years of artificial poignant involvements with women. I just needed to quit depending my own choices for dealings for several years now. SOmetimes, when you are by himself you are finally in good company. THanks to all of you fellow travelers. BEst of luck. RIchard’s comment jump started back to all my individual therapist said long time ago, these abusive dysfunctional people don’t mature emotionally so i wonder if this is the reason why i feel when i’ve talked 2 my sister that i feel as if i’m talking to a child?I cut off phone arguments with her because she failed 2 respect my margin even after she said she would. UNderstand i am an guide and spend most or all of my days repeating myself to young infants thru pre k age because they lack brain evolution to recollect, however my sister just turned 50 and there’s no way i’m gonna spend more than twice repeating the same request 2 a person of this age. DOn’t have any other issues with anyone else just her. WEll, i chose no contact with her so she’s history up to i’m curious. THankful for seeking out a investigator to help instead of choosing the alcohol/drugs avenue. SAdly there are more dysfunctional folks out in life than there are practical, regrettably. I am in the same designation you are in. MY husband is an abuser, completely hoovered everybody from me in the 2 years of marriage we had. I filed for divorce. NO contact is the only way to be free of these people. I am a christian too, and had been praying about leaving for months. THen his web of lies started coming unraveled, and found he never even meant his vows, they were all a lie from the genesis. AS soon as i told him to get out of my house, he ran right away home to his mommy to suck her dry even more than he already has. HE quit his job the 8th one he’s had in 12 months, and deserted our daughters, who is 13 months old. IT is a disputing settlement to leave, specifically being a gentile who doesn’t believe that divorce is right. I offered him a healing divorce, like dobson talks about in his book on tough love. MY spouse didn’t want that. HE wanted me all or nothing. BEcause all we are is objects to these people.