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MY girls said to my father that she takes contact when she is ready. DId my parents valued that?NO, they all the time try to press her to take contact. ANd when it is not working with her she does not answer , they contact me, sending some “virtuous” epistles that i do not believe any moore. THe aim is to get us hooked again!THank you alice, i have been abused as a child, only to marry a bully and raise kids that bully me, now after years of trying to escape, i am back living in usa, centime of reason why i should be punished for what i did they say, i never can do enough to please them, or spend enough, i get cornor by wanting to see my grandchildren, i put up with their bullying me, after dec. 22 and a stroke, and aneurysm that can’t be fixed, i came out one last time to see my granddaughter, but with all the yelling at me for not being loving enough , i see it has infected my granddaughter. NOt sure what to do, but will have to make a choice to live away from all of them. THank you for dedicating your life to what needs to be address so dearlyzi feel like ruby. HAd a narcissitic boyfriend. HE drained me of alot of my savings. HE always blamed me for all his life trouble. HOwever, now that i have broken up with him, i feel this sense of loss, like i’m disconnected to the world. I have no young, and few friends as i am an introvert. MY life is calm and quiet, but a part of me misses him, but he is bad for me. IF i got back with him, my life would be a wreck again, my money would float down the drain, and my energy would be sucked out of me. JUst don’t know how to get over this split feeling i have. ANybody endure this?I’d enjoy your input. HEllo rose, had needy friends i used 2 think needed 2 be around them until i noticed how narcissistic they are, and then i decided 2 slowly back away from them. HAd male friends but it became now and then contentions between 1 guy and another guy striving 2 get my concern. IT was exhausting. I used 2 think i’m not the referee here, they lacked self certainty, self esteem, and i felt fraught by having 2 reassure each of them for their gifts in the attachment. I gave them my friendship they brought drama and gossip which is dysfunctional.

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HOld your head high, you aren’t in control of his conduct. YOu are allowed to leave and be happier. HE is taking you farther away from god, and jesus knows that and forgives us for divorcing these animal!PErsonally, i would rather be forgiven for a divorce, where in my singledom i can get back to god, than trapped with someone who will make sure i never grow spiritually. GOod luck hun and god bless. HE sees you and knows your agony. COgnitive activity therapy cbt or ratiocinative emotive therapy self help books availablewill assist you to verbalise your dilemas and grief over the impairment to be part of your grandchildren’s lives without the emotional abuse from narc. YOu can change your since and passions aroound this, make your own determinations based on what skills you can develope to deflect hurtful projections and manage to have some connection with your grandies…. ALl power to you. REmember what they say and do mirrors what is about them and not you. YOu might like to imagine a mirror between her and you so what hurtful management etc is given out bounces back at the narc, and is not mixed into your loving self. YOga can also help that self bracing, centering on the inner nurturer, only liable for one self and acquiescing that change comes from within and what is around us just is and not our liability. HOpe this helps. FRom reading this n what anyone is saying im guessing my ex/boyfriend whatsoever he is in my life is at narcissist. HE has been in my life for 3yrs kno. ANd for the 1st yr everything was ok we had our ups n downs but we worked them thru. HE lost his father n then his friend n then things changed. CHeating, lien, i feel used. I try to leave n get out but i feel lost with out him i don’t kno what to do. I have changed my number 2 times n he txt or calls or email n i fall into it. I changed my n its like a drug to have to talk to him. I dont kno why i even think he can change, it kills me inside. HE don’t see the pain he is causing me. I need help to get out of it n not fall back but i dont know how :im wondering if i had the hoover manuover done on me!I’m sure my ex is a narcissist!I dumped him after another tantrum in which complex me called be police and afterward him blaming me!FOr months he sent love songs, texts even flowers, never had flowers even after our kids were born, no note though with them!OFfered me coffee, takeaways etc etc, then quickly he’s got a girl friend and she’s moved in with him!WOw not even introduced her to the kids!THen the random stuff begins, once maybe twice a month a email of nothing but a jar of sweets or anything else!THen social media, the endless pics of them posing looking so happy!THen the texts telling me he met a famous guy at the weekend!?YEs and ?YOu’ve got a girl friend so why text me?IT’s been 5 mths since then as i ignored anybody he sent me and he’s gone entirely silent!I was speculative if he was trying to falsify me or conceivably triangulate?I married him. WAs tired of the roller coaster and wanted it to stop. I thought if i brought balance to his life – composition, etc. HE’d thrive.

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THinks only of himself and what he wants. I was to blame for all his money complexities and general life distress, so hence he necessary that i support him both emotionally and financially. AWful, awful association. WHy did i stay in it so long?I don’t value myself. AFter our last break up i was reluctant to get back with him after all he had done to me the packing his stuff and the coming and goings, it was like every 6 weeks or so he’d be off on his bike again!BUt after yet another silent treatment and him knowing i was out with friends i conventional a text from him saying fundamentally he wanted to end it all and he would see me in another life!OF course i retorted… he has a cocaine habit which he blamed all the lying, cheating, paranoia, disappearing acts on, everything he ever done was down to his drug problem and to a point i wanted to believe it was the drugs too. HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he broadcasts he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it work unfortunately as i cant be seen to be an stirring mess behind the bar in front of the public…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an touching rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up customary. LOve rp xxange,let the money go – and let him go. HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his illustrations remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still predictable me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the charming blinds he placed at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very beloved beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00. HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep dejection, but better this acting phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and materially, someone who i’m first excited to be with, but by power, treatment, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to.
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