I lately broke up from a draining connection with a narcissist and i’ve been there for almost two years. LOst 22 pounds and i was already thin before… it is not the first time i tried do leave him and i was partly informed of what was matter when we got back simultaneously last time. I have strong beliefs for him and i wanted to make sure i was doing all i could to make things work. IN the process, i almost lost my mind and the weigh loss on the last five months was the red line for me. I always told him that if i was obliged to choose between my love for him and my love for myself, i would not hesitate in choice me and the time came when i had to quit the journey. I wish him the best and i think he needs love like any other human been but i have no more energy for it, though i love him. THat makes things hard do whip since he doesn’t leave space to breath but my mind is made up. BEing conscious of what could happen when i got back to him last time, helped me to not dissolve myself in the process. IT is very critical for anything in life that you don’t doubt themselves besides healthy self doubt which helps to evolve and always trust your guts. THough people can change, it is requirement to mark what needs change and that seems unthinkable to a narcissist. EVen so, i feel sorry for him because i believe he suffers and i see no way for him to conquer cheer in life. EVerybody fears him or dislikes him because of his agressive behavioural which he doesn’t distinguish and he can’t feel real related, even when he’s loved he acts under his insecurity. IT’s sad. RIght now he is texting me how much he misses me and loves me etc. INstinctively i cut his access to me, since the moment i had to call the police once he came drunk to my door and as i didn’t open he started calling me names loudly so all the street could hear. IT was very sad thing to do but binding. ANd though i love him, i will and i won’t ever love anyone above myself. THough i have strong love and undertaking for the people in my life, i allow no one to treat me less than i deserve. I was indecent all my live and felt lonely many times but once i retrieved my self love i never gave it away. I’m able to forgo in the name of love or any other thing i decide worthy but is me who decides, i say how i want to be treated. I told him there ware limits but he didn’t listen and i kept my promise.
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