COgnitive behavioural therapy cbt or ratiocinative emotive therapy self help books availablewill assist you to verbalise your dilemas and grief over the disability to be part of your grandchildren’s lives without the affecting abuse from narc. YOu can change your whereas and emotions aroound this, make your own determinations based on what skills you can develope to deflect hurtful projections and manage to have some relationship with your grandies…. ALl power to you. REmember what they say and do reflects what is about them and not you. YOu might like to imagine a mirror between her and you so whatever hurtful treatment etc is given out bounces back at the narc, and is not embodied into your loving self. YOga can also help that self hardening, centering on the inner nurturer, only responsible for one self and assenting that change comes from within and what is around us just is and not our obligation. HOpe this helps. FRom reading this n what anyone is saying im guessing my ex/lover which he is in my life is at narcissist. HE has been in my life for 3yrs kno. ANd for the 1st yr everyone was ok we had our ups n downs but we worked them thru. HE lost his father n then his friend n then things changed. CHeating, lien, i feel used. I try to leave n get out but i feel lost with out him i don’t kno what to do. I have changed my number 2 times n he txt or calls or email n i fall into it. I changed my n its like a drug to have to talk to him. I dont kno why i even think he can change, it kills me inside. HE don’t see the pain he is causing me. I need help to get out of it n not fall back but i dont know how :im wondering if i had the hoover manuover done on me!I’m sure my ex is a narcissist!I dumped him after another tantrum in which complex me called be police and afterward him blaming me!FOr months he sent love songs, texts even flowers, never had flowers even after our kids were born, no note though with them!OFfered me coffee, takeaways etc etc, then hastily he’s got a girl friend and she’s moved in with him!WOw not even alien her to the kids!THen the random stuff begins, once maybe twice a month a email of nothing but a jar of sweets or whatever else!THen social media, the endless pics of them posing looking so happy!THen the texts telling me he met a famous guy at the weekend!?YEs and ?YOu’ve got a girl friend so why text me?IT’s been 5 mths since then as i ignored everybody he sent me and he’s gone definitely silent!I was wondering if he was trying to fix me or perhaps triangulate?I married him. WAs tired of the roller coaster and wanted it to stop. I thought if i brought stability to his life – agreement, etc. HE’d thrive. 3 l/2 yrs ago. THen the real abuse started. RAther than understand my benefactions – he took advantages of me and escalated his demands. HE threatened to smash in my face, took up with another woman when out of town and i was having surgery, was neglectful, never gave me a dime – had to beg for grocery money – and the kicker. THe last straw… mother’s day and he deliberately refused to own me.