BEing alert of what could happen when i got back to him last time, helped me to not dissolve myself in the process. IT is very critical for everything in life that you don’t doubt myself besides healthy self doubt which helps to evolve and always trust your guts. THough people can change, it is essential to identify what needs change and that seems inconceivable to a narcissist. EVen so, i feel sorry for him because i believe he suffers and i see no way for him to conquer cheer in life. EVerybody fears him or dislikes him because of his agressive activity which he doesn’t identify and he can’t feel real affiliated, even when he’s loved he acts under his insecurity. IT’s sad. RIght now he is texting me how much he misses me and loves me and so on. INstinctively i cut his access to me, since the moment i had to call the police once he came drunk to my door and as i didn’t open he started calling me names loudly so all the street could hear. IT was very sad thing to do but binding. ANd though i love him, i will and i won’t ever love anyone above myself. THough i have strong love and word for the people in my life, i allow no one to treat me less than i deserve. I was depressed all my live and felt lonely many times but once i rehabilitated my self love i never gave it away. I’m able to sacrifice in the name of love or any other thing i decide worthy but is me who decides, i say how i want to be treated. I told him there ware limits but he didn’t listen and i kept my promise. I lost weigh, money, my job and almost lost my mind but here i am, recovering. BElieving in myself and in my intuition helps a lot. LOving myself is crucial. IN the defying moments i try to listen to chakra cleaning sounds or binaural beat waves or some guided deliberations, subject to on the state of mind. THere are lots of options, to every taste and need. I also have been reading about human acting since i recollect so i use the ability do observe myself and anybody else from a neutral point of view, what grants me some pellucidity. I also have a very supportive family supported since i left the connection and helping me go trough this moment. SEarch for specialised help if you don’t feel strong enough to thrash this by yourself. IT is very important to be around “normal” humankind to remind you that you are worthy and that you can do it. IT is serious to keep the journey of self revelation, healthy habits and a clear mind. THe hoover maneuver will appear when you less expect and you have to remain lucid and alert and you need a supportive net of relationships to wake you up if binding. DOn’t be ashamed or afraid.
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