HE begged me to help get him off it and his words no mine have a normal life and all our troubles would be over… not!SO guess what 6 week in to a 12 step program to get off the coke he advertises he not happy, doesn’t feel the same about me packs his stuff and goes!SO i’m behind the bar and in he comes dead on 3pm when i start…served him had a bit of a smile a but of chit chat… i have to keep it business alas as i cant be seen to be an touching mess behind the bar in front of the buyers…then my watsapp alert went off. MEssage reads:sorry to come in while your working,i hope that isn’t just your pub persona your giving off lol. I’m sorry i’m on such an emotional rollercoaster at the mo and didn’t want to make you unhappy…i just want you to know your the first thing i think of when i wake up ordinary. LOve rp xxange,let the money go – and let him go. HE will never change. I always had that tiny bit of hope too, but his examples remain the same, even though he has, i think become a little more patient and a little less angry – he’s still the same. I thought things would change when he got a better job – nope – he got a better job and he still awaited me to pay his way!IN fact, he wanted to show me the lovely blinds he set at a trendy bar, so we went there in my car, my gas, and i bought him a very beloved beer and myself one drink. THe entire event cost me about $40. 00. HE is never going to change. REad about how to get over a breakup. IT’s not easy. I just spent the weekend in a deep dejection, but better this interim phase than the rest of my life with someone who uses me emotionally, financially, and concretely, someone who i’m at first excited to be with, but by power, handling, and control, ends up draining all my energy – and doesn’t realize he’s doing it!WAlk away. LEt it go. ANd i will do the same. IT’s a process. IT takes time. TAke the time and let him go. BEst,roseange,it’s normal to miss him. I miss my guy immensely, but i’ve just had it. AS i write this, i still want to text him, but i’m not going to. I find myself daydreaming of how good it could be if he was more normal,but he’s never going to change. I wen thru this practice where u write down every opposed thing about him and i just kept writing and writing. HE has really done some cruel mean shit to me. WHen i start to miss him, i take out what i wrote, and mind how hurt he made me feel, then i don’t miss him for a while. HE once broke a wine bottle and 2 glasses on the street, drove my car 90 mph and risked to wrap the car around a pole, unless i gave him all the money in my wallet all bc i joked about how he never keeps a job in front of one of his friends. HE did this after i had paid for appetizers and drinks for all of us 54. 00 and i’m absolutely certain he had something going on with the coffee bar hostess. IT was so blatantly obvious!I’m sure he either knew her, had sex with her, or got her number. I think of this and wonder how could i want to see him after this, but i did. SO, my advice is it will be hard, but try to do the no contact thing. YOu’re only expanding the healing process. I feel better every day and so relaxed. WHat i just depicted was only one episode of many. I could write a book and i just might!BEst wishes. REmember no contact is best!ANd also, your friends and even family will not fully enjoy!BUt there is plenty of support here and on line.
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