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I just needed to quit expecting my own choices for family for several years now. SOmetimes, when you are by oneself you are finally in good company. THanks to all of you fellow wayfarers. BEst of luck. RIchard’s comment jump started back to all my separate analyst said long time ago, these abusive dysfunctional people don’t mature emotionally so i wonder if this is the reason why i feel when i’ve talked 2 my sister that i feel as if i’m talking to a child?I cut off phone conferences with her because she failed 2 respect my edge even after she said she would. UNderstand i am an teacher and spend most or all of my days repeating myself to babies infants thru pre k age because they lack brain developing to remember, however my sister just turned 50 and there’s no way i’m gonna spend more than twice repeating the same request 2 a person of this age. DOn’t have any other issues with anyone else just her. WEll, i chose no contact with her so she’s history till i’m troubled. THankful for seeking out a psychiatrist to help instead of selection the alcohol/drugs avenue. SAdly there are more dysfunctional folks out in life than there are operative, unfortunately. I am in the same viewpoint you are in. MY husband is an abuser, positively hoovered entirety from me in the 2 years of bridal we had. I filed for divorce. NO contact is the only way to be free of these people. I am a believing too, and had been praying about leaving for months. THen his web of lies started coming unraveled, and found he never even meant his vows, they were all a lie from the alpha. AS soon as i told him to get out of my house, he ran straight home to his mommy to suck her dry even more than he already has. HE quit his job the 8th one he’s had in 12 months, and wanton our wenches, who is 13 months old. IT is a challenging settlement to leave, peculiarly being a orthodox who doesn’t believe that divorce is right. I offered him a healing separate, like dobson talks about in his book on tough love. MY spouse didn’t want that. HE wanted me all or nothing. BEcause all we are is objects to these people. THey aren’t capable of love or any other emotion. THey don’t even love himself, how could they ever love us like christ loved the church?THey can’t. ANd won’t. EVer. I swear my husband is enjoyed by demons, with all the evil he has done and extends to do. HOld your head high, you aren’t in control of his comportment. YOu are allowed to leave and be happier. HE is taking you farther away from god, and jesus knows that and forgives us for divorcing these animal!PErsonally, i would rather be forgiven for a divorce, where in my singledom i can get back to god, than trapped with someone who will make sure i never grow spiritually. GOod luck hun and god bless. HE sees you and knows your agony. COgnitive behavior therapy cbt or analytical emotive therapy self help books availablewill assist you to verbalise your dilemas and grief over the impairment to be part of your grandchildren’s lives without the emotional abuse from narc. YOu can change your whereas and feelings aroound this, make your own determinations based on what skills you can develope to deflect hurtful projections and manage to have some tie with your grandies…. ALl power to you.

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