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IT is very defying. I miss the good times. THen i recall the bad. IT’s a abominable moment of confusion mentally. HOw does anyone cope?AT a loss and so sad. I’ve been amazed by the hoovering, it is exactly as the commodities predicted. I miss youi’ve changedi’ve valuated my lifethinking about youhave a drink for me birthdayphotographs of ‘us’ in mailmy bes box of tampons on my door stepaccusations “you used to have a sense of humour”“you’re playing a game”you might bump into me at just giving you a heads upare you going to just wonderedit’s been two years and despite me insisting he stop because he is compromising his current alliance it abides after brief sulksi’m skilled at not answering his interrogates, being provoked or reacting now i know about the mess. I never respond nearly. NO amount of reason is gratifying so i answer with utter rubbish. I’ve politely thrown out clues about his fake persona, said we are opposites, i’m not yielding enough for him, i’m no longer trying, i like being single and that he invested nothing in me. I was discarded three months ago by someone who exhibited almost all of the flavors of a narcissist after he avowed to being in a affiliation with someone while in a association with me. I anew heard they were no longer coincidentally. TWo days ago i sanctioned an email from him apologising for the mean way he treated me, that i was a wonderful loving dependent who deserved to be happy. HE said he has had to take a hard look at himself and how he has treated women. HE said he had now taken answerability for the pain and upset he has caused. HE wished me a happy life and said he hopes i will find a fantastic man who will attend me and treat me me with the love and respect i deserve. CAn this be deliberate a hoover if he did not want anything from me nor seem to want to get back into my life?COuld he at 65 had an epiphany and cultivated a describes?I went through it all with him, the silent behaviors, lying, cheating, anger if i dared say something, been discarded unexpectedly without a word, ignored, blocked and unblocked on fb etc etc. SO how is it likely that he wrote these fabulous sounding words. CAn anyone tell me what it means?I think this all part of his game. HE has to have narcissistic supply, whether that it certain or negative – he just needs to know that he is having an effect on you of some sort and he will only get that if you give a respond. AT the moment he is testing the waters to see if he can worm his way back into your life. OF course, he doesn’t know that he is in your head night and day and that his message has caused accomplish chaos for you – if he gets any idea that has happened, he will get his narcissistic supply from that. IF you reply with article heartening, he may well attempt to get back into your life materially embodying mentally. YOu may have seen this article but it assigns quite well the cycle. THenarcissisticpersonality. COm/hoover manuver/ the only thing you can do is to definitely ignore this man’s approaches and try to move your life in a control where you can just forget him, very hard, i know. PErhaps there is someone else on this forum with similar experiences to mira who can advise her that this will work?HI milly,there’s no question that no contact is the answer to evading any kind of jumble they love to provide. ZAri ballard who has written the most extraordinary clauses on narcissists annotates that the reasons they hoover is to maize supply in case of need and also to ensure the victim never moves on from the pain they caused. THis could well be the answer to my detail case. I’m so sad for all the pain and experiencing good innocuous people are being caused. I can only duplicate what the experts say to go no or minimal contact – the latter for when children are interested. I think i’m able to do this myself now, finally. STrength and resovle to us all to cut contact with the horror in order that healing be liable. HIi’m 21 years old. I just came out of a connection with a 35 year old narcissitic man. IT was terrible.
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