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AT the age of 31, i am still feeling like a scolded child just for having stood up for myself, not consenting them to cross my borders and undermine my parenting. THese are just a small scale model of an example. TO go in detail, i feel wpuld be a trigger for some. I finally said no more on friday, and my weekend consisted of my mother and my father telling me i am a bully, that i am combative, abusive and have anger problems or that i am having mood swings as they always do when i stand my ground, try to set ends or even just have my own point of view. WHen i did not accept that they started charge my husband of being abusive, and making me move interstate just to keep me solo amongst other horrid ailments, when i was the one that made the call to move away!I had enough, either i am a horrible evil daughters for rank up for myself or i am under the control of an abusive husband who simply cannot be strong enough to be saying ‘enough’ without it directed by my husband. THen i implemented, they are projecting. THey were the ones who made move away from anybody i knew, the town i grew up in to a place where i was solitary. I had noone. ANd when i did they accused them of the same. WHile they were basically saying “this is all in your head” was a trigger for another trauma in my life was caused by them i learned whatever. IT’s not me and never has been. I also realize why they have gotten under my skin for this long. I’d finally enforced how wrong their behavior is. I recollected all the distress they had with my siblings, that they poisoned me to think was not my parents fault. THey did the same to my brethren in further levels, and they no longer have any contact with them yet they still refuse to claim duty for. THey will never change and my life will never improve while they have their claws in. IN short, this article has been a helpful tool and my feels have encouraged me to want to study mentality so i can help others as well as myself. WE had alluring times all together but bad too. HE was diagnosed with bipolar mess and pharma medicated embodying self medicated with ganja. I lost myself in his ways. I am now seeing the truth.
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ONe such concept is “hoovering” by the emotionally abusive person. WHen the cycle of “idealize, devalue, discard” is unqualified, a person with narcissistic characteristic will often return to prior sources of narcissistic supply to see if he or she can tap such humans for more ego fueling notice, moving feedback, sex, money, business profits, a place to live, or other affirmations of his or her life. “Hoover maneuver” was coined after the name of a popular vacuum cleaner, attributing to the fact abusers often attempt to suction up narcissistic supply from prior sources people. SUrvivors of narcissistic abuse should not be fooled by the hoover maneuver. SUch an action is not a sign that the abusive person loves the outliver or that he/she can change and instantaneously develop reciprocity, authentically own responsibility for blunders, and coherently show affecting maturity. THe analogy of a vampire sinking fangs into the jugular vein works here. THe abusive person may home in on the target’s vulnerabilities wanting to be traditional, loved, lovely, etc. ANd try to hook that person back into another abuse cycle, solely for the benefit of soothing the abusive person’s ego—no more, no less. THey never go, it seems absurd to believe when they have quickly moved into a fresh association and raged at you. IT is sadly a fact that they keep coming back to the ex’s with all sorts of strange creepy methods to disclose. THe favoured hoover of mine is “i miss you” by text, once blocked he moved to fb once blocked it was post, email and then visits to my home. I created an email just for him to stop the visits and post. ONe day he will give up i keep my replies minimal and my answers are brief and delayed to contain the conditions. I’m awaiting a ramped up dispatch when he ruins his current link. IM unsure as to whether my sweetheart is a narcisist…. THere is always drama in his life and he takes no personal liability for his poor choices. AT the genesis of our rship he pursued me mostly and showered me with gifts and compliments, almost putting me on a pedestal. HOwever as time went on, he has exposed quite ascendant and. NEgative comportment, such as putting me down, shouting and making fun out of me. HE has a temper but has said he would never hit me!BUt stirring blackmail is used and i can see through his lies and conduct. WE have broken up several times, mostly from me putting my foot down and exacting he treats me better but he always manages to win me back with sob stories and pledges of changeable. IM just so disorganized as hes so sweet and loving in some ways but very hurtful and selfish in others. IM no angel either but i try to manage things maturely. DOes he sound like a narcisit and can he change?WOuld love some advice on this. YEs he is a narcissist and he will never change. IT’s a hard truth to accept,the harsh reality that they will never change. NArcissists are very good actors who trick you into catholic that they can connect with you emotionally. THe truth us that they are ineffective of making an touching alliance with anyone. I am a recovering wenches of a narcissistic mother. I was fooled for a long time thinking i could change her, and since that she actually cared about me. THe moment you make this acknowledgment, you will feel like a fool firstly because it took so long to figure it out, but it is easy to fall into the narcissistic trap and no one should feel foolish for falling for it. THe best thing you can do for herself is to cut it off. I wish the very best for you!THis delimits my mom to a t. I haven’t been able to comprehend why she treats me this way. IT’s very confusing and hurtful. I’m in no contact with her right now and life is more peaceful without her.